Thursday
Today was a half up day for me I thought of Justin but it brought a smile to my face.He was so funny in his own way always a smile but if he had a bad day or missed his kids he wasn't afraid to cry.I would just set and listen pour out his feelings I was proud to be his Mom I hope he was proud of me because I wasn't the perfect Mom and of course he wasn't a perfect son if he was he'd still be here the drugs wouldn't of killed him.Never in my life did I think I'd lose a child to drugs damn damn drugs.I can't hate the person he got them from because it was his hand that put them in his mouth.I just think he thought they would help him conquer his addiction.I love you Justin. Someone may have stolen your dream when it was young and fresh and you were innocent.Angeris natural.Grief is appropriate.Healing is mandatory.Restoration is possible. If we wait for our hands to stop shaking,we will never open the door.
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I\'m happy you had a reason to smile. I hope there are more days like that for you. None of our children are perfect. We do the best we can and they make their own choices. Sometimes those choices have very tragic consequences and the what if\'s become a huge part of our vocabulary. To have your son pour out his feelings to you let me know you are a terrific mother. Cherish the love you two shared. I really love the last of your entry. So powerful. Much love to you friend. Robin
More and more I can think of Alex and smile...I am glad you thought of Justin and smiled...love to you...Karen
Beautiful that you had a good smile about Justin...love & hugs, Connie
hugging u ... and justin and cody....luv ya