Thurs. July 3rd

 It is now Sat. July 5 th 2:51 pm woke up about a hour ago went gambling Thurs. night or should I say Fri. morning at about 1:30 am. stayed at the Casino til 1:30 pm. Fri morning the 4th of July.Slept all through the 4th and it is already the 5th, missed 2 days of time off work and I am so depressed & feel I have not only wasted another week end but my life the last 15 years gambling & losing everything I feel like a drug addict living in a fogg and not knowing what to do.My husband also has a problem with gambling & I love him so much and we are wasting our life's away & don't spend any quality time together all we do is work & gamble ( what a Waste ) I know I need to go to treatment I should have gone month ago at least one of us would be on track but he keeps saying things will get better if we stay away from the Casino & we promise each other we will but it never happens. Also we think we need my money from my job to catch up on bills yet we still spend it on gambling so we are going nowhere. I hate my life & many times think of ending it but I know it would destroy my daughter, I can't go on like this it is like living in HELL I need to go to treatment I am so close to suicide and I am not afraid to die because I am really not living right now and things will never change.