THOUGHTS RACING

FIRST BEFORE I START VENTING I WOULD LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO THOSE WHO HAD READ MY LAST JOURNAL ENTRY. LAST WEEK WASN'T THE BEST FOR ME WITH STRESS OF THE WEDDING AND MY GRANDFATHER BEING IN THE HOSPITAL. IM SORRY FOR MY RANDOM OUT BURST FROM LAST WEEKS POST. 
WELL THE TOTAL NUMBER OF DAYS THAT MY EX AND I HAVE DECIDED TO STOP SPEAKING FOR A BIT IS 12. THE FIRST FEW DAYS WERE TOUGH BUT IT FEELS LIKE ITS ONLY GETTING MORE DIFFICULT. HE SAIS WE NEED COMPLETE SILENCE FOR 1-2 MONTHS. IT HASNT BEEN COMPLETE SILENCE TO BE HONEST. WE FOLLOW EACH OTHER ON YOUTUBE AND INSTAGRAM SO THERE'S STILL THAT SMALL WINDOW. ITS HARD TO BE HONEST. HE WILL POST SOMETHING ABOUT SOMETHING BAD TGAT HAD HAPPENED DURING HIS DAY AND I WANT TO CALL HIM BUG I AGREED TO COMPLETE SILENCE. IVE THOUGHT ABOUT UNFOLLOWING HIM BUT THE THOUGHT ABOUT IT HURTS. TRUTH BE TOLD I FEEL FINE, BUT I STILL MISS HIM. IN OUR LAST CONVERSATION 12 DAYS AGO I TOLD HIM THAT MY FEELINGS AREN'T GOING TO CHANGE AND THAT THE DECISION IS ULTIMATELY UP TO HIM. I STILL STAND BY THAT.I GUESS ITS THE ANTICIPATION OF WHETHER OR NOT HE WILL SAY YES OR NO. OR AT LEAST THAT ISWHAT MY THERAPIST HAS BEEN SAYING. 
SPEAKING OF THERAPY IT IS GOING WELL. THIS FRIDAY WILL MARK WEEK 4 OF SESSIONS. I WONTBORE YOU WITH THE DETAILS BUT I FEEL MORE AT EASE THERE. I ALSO FEEL MORE AT EASE ON HERE EVEN IF PEOPLE AREN'T READING. IT JUST FEELS NICE TO VENT YOU KNOW? 
IVE BEEN KEEPING MYSELF BUSY WITH PLAY REHEARSALS. WE PREMIERE IN THE MIDDLE OF JUNE AND ITS ALL GOING WELL. MY COSPLAY EVENTS ARE DOING GOOD, AND MY NEXT ONE WILL BE NEXT FRIDAY. I AM REALLY EXCITED. 
ANYWAYS, I HOPE YOU ALL ARE DOING WELL AND THAT YOU ARE KEEPING YOUR HEADS HELD UP HIGH. HAVE A WONDERFUL REST OF YOUR WEEK!