Thoughts on a new life.
I can't chat and I can't post so I'm going to journal. Some how I have managed to put my possible new life in danger with my words. That verbal fire I posess that can warm or burn. By saying "I wan't to something for real" implied that EVERYTHING else is fake that's not one on one. I didn't intend that but I can see the point, even though it's too late.
I want the whole shabang with her, but if I don't expect her to want much to do with me now, even though I've tried to explain. This is one of my superpowers, the pull people close so I can spring board them away in record time, all with the power of misunderstanding. When speaking to someone in a patient/therapist format I seem to have all the right words, but when I get personal with someone I seem to add few that fuck it all up.
I see this person and think of how us side by side would be perfect and complimentary to both of us. I see her and think of her being that long haired Pdoc's wife in 25 years. She getting her 9 boys and my one girl. The thinking about it has drove me crazy to the point of impatience. I want us to meet and now. It's not even much of a drive. It's like I want to fall down and show myself a pathetic worm and beg to her stay with me. Knowing full well such behavior tends to get the opposite response. I'm mad that I've come this far. This is the way I used to be long ago. I thought that immature way of handling a relationship was dead and buried, but she drives it out of me now.
Mr rationale understands that all attractions between 2 people start as infatuation, and I feel you can't just "love" someone until you've logged sometime with them. when you can see the ugly parts and still wish to comfort them. So it being where it is, it can't be love yet, so my brain says. But right now I can't hear my brain because my heart is screaming "I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!!!!"
I want the whole shabang with her, but if I don't expect her to want much to do with me now, even though I've tried to explain. This is one of my superpowers, the pull people close so I can spring board them away in record time, all with the power of misunderstanding. When speaking to someone in a patient/therapist format I seem to have all the right words, but when I get personal with someone I seem to add few that fuck it all up.
I see this person and think of how us side by side would be perfect and complimentary to both of us. I see her and think of her being that long haired Pdoc's wife in 25 years. She getting her 9 boys and my one girl. The thinking about it has drove me crazy to the point of impatience. I want us to meet and now. It's not even much of a drive. It's like I want to fall down and show myself a pathetic worm and beg to her stay with me. Knowing full well such behavior tends to get the opposite response. I'm mad that I've come this far. This is the way I used to be long ago. I thought that immature way of handling a relationship was dead and buried, but she drives it out of me now.
Mr rationale understands that all attractions between 2 people start as infatuation, and I feel you can't just "love" someone until you've logged sometime with them. when you can see the ugly parts and still wish to comfort them. So it being where it is, it can't be love yet, so my brain says. But right now I can't hear my brain because my heart is screaming "I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!!!!"
Replies
Before you can have a real relationship, you have to take care of you first and all the baggage you carry....we ALL have some. ask yourself, do you have a true relationship with yourself or do you have things to work on. You can fill you cup with notions, but unless you put them into actions, they remain just words. fantasizing of what things could be will only remain a fantasy if you don\'t find your path of recovery and having miles to show for your travels. don\'t play the part of a therapist unless you have the degree for it. If you do play the patient/therapist act when you are not qualified, it will come back on you and will be detremental to not only your mental wellness, but others too. saying you going to be in a field of Therapy/Psychiatrist or the likes when you\'re really not, makes for a bad situation later. I hope that makes sense! Not trying to bash you by any means, but looking out for your best intrest. Being a women, nothing turns me off than a man who says he\'s something when he\'s not. Please be careful and take care.
Listen to nibblet, she makes sense to me. I\'m sorry that you are having such a hard time. I have faith in you and know you will succeed. You\'ve helped me out alot, don\'t give up on you or her. Keep a positive attitude my friend. Put that smile back on your face and go for it. Hugs and Kisses
Ok Chuggs. Been there man. Give it time to cool off. Woman love to hear a man talk but the way that we communicate can really fuck it up. Spend less time talking about what you want and try to meet her needs. This will mean less talk and more action. Not throwing pebbles at her window at 3am kind of action. Slow actions. Show her that you really care by respecting her boundaries and listening. Be a rock that she can cling to when things get rough. If she sees reactionary behavior from you now she will expect it to continue. Be a rock man! If you can channel your feelings the right way..you can totally turn this thing around. Show her that you love her by being her rock. Not her landslide.
Hey man, I am sorry for the situation you are going through. I know that if you romance her and be yourself that she will see what a prince you are. Just give it time, she will come around. I am praying for you so that the best outcome will come of this. I love you BRO, hang in there and have faith. Love you - Mamacita
Oh, Chugg, In my message to you I thought the two of you were over, oops, my boo boo. Go slow it sounds like you are in love with being in love because you want it so much but be careful, go slow, like I said Rome was was not built in one day. If it is meant to be it will work itself out even if you can\'t see it now. How couldn\'t she fall for you is the question? Big hugs! Liz
I\'m so sorry that your feeling this way! I know its a terrible feeling! Just try to take it one day at a time or even one hour at a time if you have to. I always have the problem of jumping in too fast and falling in love with what I dream it to be. I realize that I love being in love and I lose my reality by moving too fast. In my experience it pushes the other person away. I know it\'s easier said than done because I still struggle with, which is why I\'m seeing a therapist for help on it now. I know that if I don\'t fix me than I can never have a healthy relationship with a guy. I wish you the best of luck and happiness! You will be in my prayers!
Hugs,
Lisa