Thoughts From "Thriving"
The book talked about 3 basic needs that the heart desires: purpose, integrity (trust) & relationship. These are the things we desire in our marriage relationships. When one of these is threatened, it leads to disappointment.
The chapter I started reading today was "The Difficult Spouse". It talks about different ways a spouse can be difficult. And I have to admit, not only (as I was reading) was I saying, "yeah, that's him", I was also saying, "um, yeah...that's me!". But in different places.
One area of difficulty is due to a spouse's limitations. (And we all have them, right?) It talked about being limited in understanding (which is seeing things from others' perspectives), being limited in emotional expression (i.e., being guarded, that kind of thing), and being limited in teachability (being open to change).
As far as my H goes, he seems to be limited in understanding, although when we first met & sometime afterward, he was very empathetic toward others; in fact, that was one of his strong points. So I think he leans more toward being limited in teachability; he is right & that is that! Yeah, even early in our relationship, I could see him being stubborn.
Now as far as me, I seem to be limited in my emotional expression. Not that I'm not feelin' it, but I am somewhat reserved in general. I do express myself, but if I feel the need to protect myself, down goes the expression!
There's a next area of difficulty, but I can't recall it off the top of my head right now; plus, I'm still in the middle of reading about it. I'll say that so far, it's interesting!
The chapter I started reading today was "The Difficult Spouse". It talks about different ways a spouse can be difficult. And I have to admit, not only (as I was reading) was I saying, "yeah, that's him", I was also saying, "um, yeah...that's me!". But in different places.
One area of difficulty is due to a spouse's limitations. (And we all have them, right?) It talked about being limited in understanding (which is seeing things from others' perspectives), being limited in emotional expression (i.e., being guarded, that kind of thing), and being limited in teachability (being open to change).
As far as my H goes, he seems to be limited in understanding, although when we first met & sometime afterward, he was very empathetic toward others; in fact, that was one of his strong points. So I think he leans more toward being limited in teachability; he is right & that is that! Yeah, even early in our relationship, I could see him being stubborn.
Now as far as me, I seem to be limited in my emotional expression. Not that I'm not feelin' it, but I am somewhat reserved in general. I do express myself, but if I feel the need to protect myself, down goes the expression!
There's a next area of difficulty, but I can't recall it off the top of my head right now; plus, I'm still in the middle of reading about it. I'll say that so far, it's interesting!
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