Thoughts and tears

I am feeling down tonight.  I have a cold which I thought was getting better but I am still snuffling and am keeping the tissue companies in business.
I just started to feel very sad and weepy and was trying to figure out why.  I think part of it is my cold and I am just not feeling well.  But I am quite certain that the main reason is that I am going to Ottawa on Monday to Lisa's house.  She won't be at the airport to meet us. I will be seeing her gravestone for the first time.  I will be seeing my granddaughter's newly decorated bedroom and the plans Harvey has for doing a bit of renovation in the kitchen; the counter top needs to be replaced. It did before Lisa died but they couldn't afford it.  Now Harvey can do it because he is mortgage free.  I feel resentful yet I know it needs to be done and I know that Harvey is doing the best he can. 
On the upside, I get to spend time with Cevyn and some of Lisa's friends who have remained close to Harvey.  I am looking forward to that!
Enough.  I am going to try and sleep now.