Thoughts and hopes
I've actually reached a point where I don't want to drink. I hate vodka. I hate that I need it and I hate going to buy it. Each time I go to the smelly, shameful liquor store where THEY KNOW ME, I tell myself this is the last purchase. Why do I find it so hard to quit what I hate?
The drinking controls everything. It says when I go to bed and when i get up. It says when I am productive and when i am too trashed to do anything. It takes my money and ruins my budget. It makes me lie to my husband. It makes me let down my children in every way.
I am killing myself. I already had liver problems. Now I am drinking. I am a drunk. I can't imagine the damage i am doing to my body while I drink every day, yet i still drink.
PLEASE SOMEBODY MAKE ME STOP. MAKE ME STOP!!! PLEASE.
I want to wake up tomorrow with a determination to stop. I want the determination to last. I want to be free of this. I want to be whole again.
I'm 42. Can I start over again at this age? Is it too late to save my health? Is it too late to be a good mother?
The drinking controls everything. It says when I go to bed and when i get up. It says when I am productive and when i am too trashed to do anything. It takes my money and ruins my budget. It makes me lie to my husband. It makes me let down my children in every way.
I am killing myself. I already had liver problems. Now I am drinking. I am a drunk. I can't imagine the damage i am doing to my body while I drink every day, yet i still drink.
PLEASE SOMEBODY MAKE ME STOP. MAKE ME STOP!!! PLEASE.
I want to wake up tomorrow with a determination to stop. I want the determination to last. I want to be free of this. I want to be whole again.
I'm 42. Can I start over again at this age? Is it too late to save my health? Is it too late to be a good mother?
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