Thoughts and Feelings...

I am going to do my best food wise today, going to try not to binge. I'm sure I'll eat more by normal food consumption standards but just trying to monitor the binge eating right now.
Woke up feeling a little sad for no real reason. Just thinking bout things that are in the future and stuff that I shouldn't even let worry me but it does.
Sometimes I wonder will I ever be happy again. I don't remeber the last time I really felt happy and carefree. I wish I could again but everytime I feel myself nearly geting back to that place something happens that rips it away from me.
Just looking around my house at the housework I should do and it makes me feel overwhelmed. So over whelmed I end up doing nothing because its hard for me to break it down into small things when it seems so huge.
Going to see my mum today. I always have to act like Im in a good place around her because otherwise she gets down and that makes things even worse.
I just don't want to feel depressed anymore!!!!!!!!