Thoughts about High school--
I feel horrible right now. I have so many things i am regretting on my mind all at once. It is very hard to even concentrating. The thing that's on my mind the most is High school. I regret all the stupid little things i did in while i was in high school. I was retarded. I regret skipping class and never doing my homework. I regret liking asshole guys instead of focusing on my school work and getting good grades. I regret the way i dressed, I thought it was cool at the time but i think thats why most of the piece of shit peers picked on me. Most of them weren't open to diversity apparently and hated the way i was, and deep down so did I.
I hated myself in high school and i think thats why i attracted all assholes, mean people and crazies, because i really didn't like myself. I would get picked on every single day and then i would walk home from school all alone with my headphones on, and sometimes i would even cry while walking home. I think it's kind of sad that the only people i really ever talked to in high school were the teachers i had. There was one teacher in particular that i really enjoyed talking to, because, i felt like she understood me. It was nice having someone that understood what you were going through and all.
I regret liking every single one of the guys that i ever liked at that school, they were all assholes, crazy and just plain retarded.
Except one. There was one that i liked that i never told that i liked, because I didn't realize until a week ago!! A WEEK AGO!! I wasted all my precious time focusing on guys who never even gave a shit about me, but i couldnt focus on the nicest guy in the whole entire school. That one that everyone liked and the one that was nice to everybody. I regret not being friends with him. But i was a stupid naive teenager and i thought those asshole guys "loved" me. I think its because i am so used to being treated like shit most of my life, that those were the kinds of guys i thought i deserved to have. But i know now that thats not true. I deserved that nice guy and i had wish i had realized i liked him sooner, than RIGHT NOW. It's way to late now. High School was 5 years ago. It's way to late to say anything now. I just keep on thinking about him, i just want to tell him how i feel, but its too late. 5 years to late. He probably never liked me anyway. The thing is my mind goes in circles, part of me just wants to tell him that i liked him, and part is me is saying to keep it a secret. My gut says to just tell him, but then i get anxious that hes going to laugh at me or be rude to me, so i just don't. It's just not good for me to keep this secret away from him. But i don't think i will ever tell him how i felt.
I hated myself in high school and i think thats why i attracted all assholes, mean people and crazies, because i really didn't like myself. I would get picked on every single day and then i would walk home from school all alone with my headphones on, and sometimes i would even cry while walking home. I think it's kind of sad that the only people i really ever talked to in high school were the teachers i had. There was one teacher in particular that i really enjoyed talking to, because, i felt like she understood me. It was nice having someone that understood what you were going through and all.
I regret liking every single one of the guys that i ever liked at that school, they were all assholes, crazy and just plain retarded.
Except one. There was one that i liked that i never told that i liked, because I didn't realize until a week ago!! A WEEK AGO!! I wasted all my precious time focusing on guys who never even gave a shit about me, but i couldnt focus on the nicest guy in the whole entire school. That one that everyone liked and the one that was nice to everybody. I regret not being friends with him. But i was a stupid naive teenager and i thought those asshole guys "loved" me. I think its because i am so used to being treated like shit most of my life, that those were the kinds of guys i thought i deserved to have. But i know now that thats not true. I deserved that nice guy and i had wish i had realized i liked him sooner, than RIGHT NOW. It's way to late now. High School was 5 years ago. It's way to late to say anything now. I just keep on thinking about him, i just want to tell him how i feel, but its too late. 5 years to late. He probably never liked me anyway. The thing is my mind goes in circles, part of me just wants to tell him that i liked him, and part is me is saying to keep it a secret. My gut says to just tell him, but then i get anxious that hes going to laugh at me or be rude to me, so i just don't. It's just not good for me to keep this secret away from him. But i don't think i will ever tell him how i felt.
Replies
I know you are feeling horrible because you are letting you take over your thoughts. You have not given them to God.
If you give them to God, all your regrets and bad memories would seem like nothing.
Please give them to God so you can stop suffering.
Say this prayer every single time you wake up. Every time you feel a panic attack and every night before go to sleep.
Dear Father God, I praise your Holy Name, take me out and put YOU in me, greater that HE that is in me, then he that is in the world. I ask this in Jesus name.
Amen
Hugs,
Judy
You can not expect others to help you, only God can.
i agree with Judy 100 percent. don\'t let negative put a covering over you, your such a awesome person and God loves you so much!
Thanks both of you. I appreciate your comments.
I had the same story....But I did tell the guy 25 years later he found me 2 seconds after I signed up on facebook. We tried from a long distance. We are really good friends now. You never know. It just depend on what you are able to handle right now.whatever you need to do wether its letting go or telling him.I feel for you.
I can say I really did feel like you in high school. I went to a voc school for a year and a half. The only people that were nice to me were the \"nerds\" in my shop and four upperclassmen. Other than that it was people just tolerated me. The gay boy in offset printing stole my lunchbox because \"he just wanted to see some sort of emotion\" It still bothers me a teacher actually told me that.
I switched schools after the girls in cosmotology said they were \"gonna jump me\"
The social pyramid in schools makes kids into jerks. If you have a facebook account, add this nice guy if you haven\'t already. Be his friend first and decide if you want to go after him.
You don\'t have people putting you down now. (or at least I hope)
I was the quiet kid with big headphones that sat in the back of the classroom to avoid talking to people, and the teacher called on me if no one knew the answer. That\'s the good thing about high school, it ends and we can rip off the labels... now I\'m just me, not a nerd, dork, freak, weirdo, psycho or whatever.
You are an awesome person! One of a kind and God made you for a very special purpose only he may know right now! We ALL make our mistakes, but we have to forgive ourselves and learn from past mistakes so we can conquer the future!!! The future awaits you all fresh and new!! Spotless and white!! Go have a blast and write on the wall of your future in bold bright colors!!!!!!!
High school is just part of growing up, we all have regrets. As you get older your brain matures and you see things differently it\'s just part of growing up. I wish I expressed myself more in highschool instead of acting and dressing the way my parents instructed me to. I think not being your own person and allowing yourself to grow and learn is more destructive. The fact is your 16 year old self is not the same person as your 20 something year old self and when your 30 your going to look back and say \"wow, I wish I knew what I know now back then.\" It\'s just the nature of growing up so just enjoy the ride.
Hey Morning sadness, high school is exactly that, high school. Everyone is going through various stages in their growth and their is a lot of immaturity. You are a different person now it seems, so you shouldn\'t beat yourself up about what took place 5 years ago in high school. Just be thankful you recognize the foolish things you did. As for the boy you liked, that is a tough situation. 5 years ago is a long time. That person who was a boy then and is a man now, and he could be a completely different guy then when you knew him, just like you are a completely different woman. He may not have liked you, may feel awkward about you telling him you liked him, or he may just act indifferent. Also, he could very well have liked you, and who knows how it will go. Certainly, it is up to you if you talk to him or not, but just be prepared for it to go both ways. I hope you start bringing in more good people in your life because you have had more then your share of jerks. Unfortunately, their are a lot of punks in the world who don\'t spend 2 minutes thinking about others.