Thoughts
Hello Sisters of my Heart - I have had a busy time these last couple of weeks. Jim & I went to Las Vegas Nevada for the National Rodeo for 3 days - we met friends there from Arizona and had a great time, catching up, crying and laughing. It was a busy time but fun not to be @ home. The holidays are so up and down for me that to have 3 days in sort of "non-reality" was a welcome time.
A few things have happened since last writing - Hunter broke his nose, in a skateboarding accident. He is much better now, but really was miserable the first few days....The CT Scan showed "just his nose broken and no other facial fractures" - He collided with another kid on a BMX bike...grateful he is on the mend :) His violin concert was Monday night and of course I think it was fabulous! His nose has very little swelling and he was able to play without a problem. It was so great to be there....posted on facebook for my facebook sisters!
People never cease to amaze me (family included) - while in Las Vegas, I received a phone call from Jim's daughter which went to voice mail - she is not talking to her dad right now so I'm the one she communicates with....well the first words out of her mouth was " Hi mom, this is your oldest LIVING daughter"......What the *&%$...You have to know she is known for saying stuff without thinking (gets it after her father) but I have to tell you, my day was pretty much ruined after that. I was very emotional and immediately felt my heart become heavy and I was walking around carrying around a 100lb weight on my shoulders.....Jim was angry at her but also @ me because I just couldn't seem to shake it....Cari, his daughter is 50 - I have known her for 16 years and from the moment we met, she has considered me to be her mom (her mom was an alcoholic so I think alot is missing) but you can understand - she's not "my daughter"......SIGH.......Again, people never cease to amaze me....
On a "god wink" moment - one of the booths (out of 2000) in Las Vegas, I walked into - it was called Christian Bling....of course it was jewelry that I love! Jewelry that is made by women who are experiencing hard times, either family member is dying, or they have found themselves in shelters, etc....This company is trying to have women who are in "rehab" from prison trying to learn a trade....anyway, one of the women who was working in this booth was explaining the jewelry to me and how each piece had a message.....I began to cry and she said - "what's wrong"....There were several pieces of jewelry that touched my heart and I told her about Jennifer now residing in Heaven....she looked at me with her beautiful eyes and said "Tell me about her", Tell me about your Jennifer".....I have never had anyone ask me that , especially a stranger......I told her about my Jennifer while she looked @ me eye to eye, holding my hand....Oh, sisters...what an angel and how healing that was for me that moment...it was like Jennifer was right there with me....She asked me about Jennifer's favorite color, then brought me a necklace to look at that had blue in it - it is a silver piece that has "keep it real" engraved on it...bought it).Then this lady (Teri) told me that 11 years ago, she was involved in a car accident and killed someone...she talked about her depression related to that and the forgiveness she had to do and how God was merciful and where she is today. Teri is the backbone to this idea with the prisons in Georgia to have the women make this jewelry, each with a message....She talked about how her life is so different now for the better but she will never forget the heartache she caused this other family....Tears in both of our eyes, we hugged, and said goodbye (2 pieces of jewelry bought).....2 tender hearts meeting for the first time, both open to each other, even though our stories are different....grateful!!
Well, school is winding down or winding up, according to the kids.....6 more days with kids, 7 more days of work and then 2 1/2 weeks off - so looking forward to that....I will spend Christmas eve with Hunter, then he is going to Colorado with Bryn visiting friends....He is taking a friend also....grateful!
Sending much love & hugs......heart to heart, hand in hand....Vicki
Replies
Vicki,
I loved reading this journal and felt so much gratitude when reading your "god wink". I love it when these moments present themselves seemingly just when needed.
There are moments when those closest to us can say or do something that stops us in our tracks, or sends us to a place or time that is painful or uncomfortable...so understand.
Gentle care,
AnnM
Hi Vicki, I am so sorry your stepdaughter said that to you. Even if she sees you as a mom figure to refer to herself as your LIVING daughter -well that is cruel and insensitive! Will people never learn to think before they speak?! Sigh...
Glad Hunter is on the mend & that you will be together on Christmas Eve. He's grown up so fast! ♡
Your God wink is beautiful. How wonderful to have someone truly listen and ask about Jennifer. And the connection you had was just lovely. She must have trusted you to tell you her story. A truly wondrous moment.
Glad you & Jim got away for a bit. Sometimes a change of scenery is good.
Much love to you and dearest Jennifer, Linda
Grateful you have had some time away and SO sorry about Hunter. Ouch! The nose is so very sensitive.
Just don't even know how to respond to Jim's daughter's voice mail to you?? I wonder if she had been drinking when she left it and thought she was being funny in some way? Oy... Just boggles the mind and as Linda said why people don't think first about what they are going to say?
What a beautiful moment to have with that woman and to have her ask about your Jennifer. There is just nothing like it, is there? Also, it's a wonderful reminder for each of us to remember how that feels for us and pay it forward when we can.
Loving care, Vicki, and always happy to hear how you are feeling and doing.
XO Joanie
So glad to hear Hunter's nose is on the mend and that there wasn't any other damage. I didn't know he played violin...how awesome is that!
OH the things people say!!!!!!! Not sure how I would have handled it; like to think with grace and understanding, but......not so sure! Believe I would have had to ask for a clarification on her reason for wording it as she did! I'm sorry for the added pain to your already broken heart. Being that she is your "daughter", think I'd have to tell her straight up that that was a horrible thing to have said to me and it's best if she chooses her words more carefully next time. Strangers I can overlook and just tell myself "they don't know any better and I don't have the time or gumption to educate them" and just walk away. But family....you have to deal with family...one way or another. I prefer head on, but sometimes do let things slide. Pick your battles is what I'm saying I guess.
OH that woman you met!!! What a gift!!! I have had strangers ask about Kala and you're so right, it's an amazing feeling when it happens!! Sounds like a fabulous organization. I'm going to look them up via google and see what I can find out...wouldn't mind supporting this organization!
Holidays certainly can be challenging. I find myself up and down and all over the place from Thanksgiving until Feb., but I am finding it easier to navigate all my different mood swings, and for that I'm grateful. Throw in menopause and YIKES!
All we can do is what we're doing.....taking it moment by moment, trying to not kill the idiots who insist on saying the most hurtful things at the most hurtful times in our lives....and continuing to find our balance and enjoy life the best we can.
I truly hope the rest of your holiday season is filled with love, joy, harmony, peace, precious memories that bring more smiles than tears, and no arrests for slapping morons, LOL! (this is a prayer my Tammy often prays for me, LOL!)
Lot's of love~Teri
would love to see a pic of the necklace you were given...... hugs...!