Thought I was doing so well.

My exbf and I broke up a year ago exactly. The break-up wasn't bitter we broke up in order to keep a friendship because we did love each other. We were arguing a lot because I was moving and wanted him to move with me and he didn't want to move so we both just knew the relationship was going to go no where. After we broke up we didn't talk for a few months and then we started talking a lot on the phone. Pretty much every day. I talk to him about everything. He is one of my best friends. I didn't realize just how much I love him still until he told me last week that he has a new gf. They met online. He is crazy about her. I am crushed. Now I can't talk to him. I just cry and feel such weight on my heart. I hate it. I had to actually take valium last night just to sleep. I miss him so much and I hate that everything happened the way it did. I was so depressed living in ny. I had to leave. I couldnt stay there it was so horrible for my mental health. I am happier living down here but my god I still wish he would have moved with me. What if he is forever the one that got away? What if I can't get over him and I also lose my best friend? He said he will always be here for me and for me to take my time to heal so that we can continue our friendship. I dont know if it's that simple. I dont know if I will ever be able to be his friend. I didnt know I still harbored these strong emotions. I dont know a lot of things right now. I just keep going to that bad place of how things could and should have been different. 
 
I am hoping to find peace through my friends who are helping me through it and through this amazing website called tinybuddha.com and by meditating. I want my heart to stop aching. 
 
I signed up for online dating but I think I only did it because I want to replace him. not feel these feelings for him. I know that is not the answer. Its not healthy to do that. 
 
I dont know.