Those who will never understand
Nobody can know what major depressive disorder is like unless they have it themselves. You can research and study the mental illness for a decade and still won’t be able to truly comprehend the gravity of genuine, raw depression. Anyone who says things like it’s a state of mind, a choice, an attitude, or a spiritual problem is very simply ignorant and have no idea what they are talking about. I hear and read things like this often, and it makes me furious. If you’ve never experienced the pain of cancer, how can you tell a cancer patient to wish the pain away. It’s the same with any illness, including depression. My advice to people trying to be supportive is to listen, remain non-judgmental, refrain from offering advice, and just comfort the person by being present and empathetic.
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I think you've brought up an excellent point that people never say anything about a person's attitude being the cause of their problems when the illness is physical. No one would even tell someone with a common cold that they've chosen to be sick, but it does seem to be a popular opinion among people who don't live with depression/mental illness when they're speaking to someone with mental illness.
I know that it doesn't apply to everyone, though. There are people who are able to empathize, even if they can't sympathize. There are people who will try their hardest to understand, even if they don't or won't ever experience it themselves. There are kind and helpful people all around. Sometimes it's hard to find them, but they exist, and they will care as much as they are capable. No amount of studying or research can make up for honest human compassion, either.
Perhaps I'm naive, but I have to believe those people exist.
I do hope you feel better soon, and that you can continue to talk freely here about your struggles and allow those of us who understand to be there.
I'm here if you need to talk or vent or need advice or someone to listen or even a distraction. And I hope for your healing, too.
Would they watch a video?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc&t=333s
Depression is painful that goes into remission but it comes back. No matter how much you research and say hey maybe that will work or maybe that medication will help I do not know if there is an answer all's we can do is talk to people who have it and know we are not the only ones out there feel better
Thank you all for your support and words of kindness.
I agree. very well put. unfortunately I get it having lived with it most of my life. you're so right about not offering advice. sometimes it's ok actually, esp. if it's coming from someone who you know understands at least for me it is. and I give advice way too much on this site knowing that it's sort of obnoxious but I kind of can't help myself : ) I think the people who truly suffer from major depression tend to have it long term, too. it comes and goes somewhat but it's always there. I notice there are some people on this site who are on for awhile and then they're like "I'm fine now, bye". I can't relate to that. i'm more of a lifer and I can relate more to the people who seem to have it long term. my dr. says some people are just born "melancholy". I think that's part of it.
Sweetie you know u can write me anytime darn tears people think u look fine on the outside but they don't see u screaming inside with pain I don't wish caner on anyone but I wouldn't change a thing with my journey im still on this is why I Luv what I do to support to listen to others so they don't have to feel like there alone in whatever there going thru I hate to see u suffer in pain You are a very special friend to me.
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((((Gentle*Huggies))))