This too shall pass ... or so they say
I dislike most cliches ... maybe because I've heard plenty ... some directed at me, others towards others. People often speak them without really thinking about them, I suspect. I've come up with some retorts to my least favorite. People have made me think, by things they say or write. I believe the world WOULD be a better place, if more people actually thought about issues and things they take for granted ... or do a bit of research. It often doesn't take much, to learn that reality is often a lot different than it seems.In my own case and life, I doubt I would "believe it" if I hadn't been forced to "live it". I've been guilty, too, of believing ... that those with "vocations" would never intentionally steer people wrong ... that "helping" people and agencies REALLY DO care and it shows ... that only "fair" trials and prosecutions occur in the Courts ... etc.
I remember my youngest daughter being upset a few years ago. I don't remember the specifics of the situation. Teenage years (and often, many others!) being fraught with various issues. The silence and secrecy of teens, when all is well ... many situations not coming to light until they have grown serious. My daughter wanted me to comfort her ... she even told me she wanted me to tell her that everything would be alright ... that things would "work out". Of course, I wanted to comfort her, but I could not bring myself to do so by communicating what might be false reassurances or hopes. I told her that it was important to me (and to her) that I be trustworthy ... that I could say those words, IF I had a confidence level of them being true of "at least" 95% or more. If not, I would root for her, provide any suggestions that might be helpful ... I would hug her and I would love her whether things did work out ... or not. She actually was angry with me, that night, for not giving her "what she wanted". I thought about it ... how parents are often imbued, at least during childhood, with abilites to do or fix most anything ...
I think about my daughter and all the talks we've had since then. Yes, there have been times when she has maintained mystery and silence, til things got too rough and weren't working out. That's probably all good, though. Children are supposed to separate from parents, develop their own (independent) identity ... and be prepared, by their parents, to navigate through life successfully, as adults. Eventually, if things go well, they are able to shed their childish views of their parents and hopefully, be able to understand them as imperfect but (hopefully) well-intentioned and behaving people. Realize that some of the disappointments were not flaws in their parents, or a lack of love, but circumstances beyond control. See some of the "little things" and know that those have been greater than their seeming and overt significance. Be able to communicate pretty genuinely and honestly with their parents ... and maybe seek them out as a sounding board at times, in order to benefit from (hopefully) a parent's wisdom and maturity.
Some of my (other) least favorite cliches:
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I did not EVER sign up for the "Miss Universe Strength Pageant" .... and don't enjoy having been hijacked into it.
"God never gives us more than we can bear". True, but (some) people will and do. Jesus used illustrative stories that show PEOPLE ought to help those so burdened and he minced no words with the Pharisees and scribes in their part of overburdening people without means of relief.
"it's God's will." REALLY?!! I used to, as many have and do, had trouble with the problem of so much evil, if God is real. Reading the Bible, I'm struck by some interesting facts ... God didn't go into the Eden and say, "I know what you did!" In fact, He called out to Adam and Eve, because they were nowhere to be found after eating the fruit. And also, women often are blamed for introducing sin ... where was Adam during the whole serpent interlude? Could he have been curious, maybe hiding behind a tree, to see what would happen? There's a lot that isn't super clear in that book, though (some) people claim authority ... like the fact that Methuselah, who lived the longest (as I learned working out the time frame, NOT in Sunday school) died the year of the Great Flood. Did he die with the wicked? Or just die of old age ... finally ... the year coinciding with the destruction of most of humanity? Another enigma ...
Anyway, God also came down and went to Sodom and Gomorrah, to "see if the reports were true". He did not just sit up in heaven "knowing everything". And He did not just take the word of whoever(s) brought the reports ... He went to find out the truth.
I've come to the conclusion that, despite God's omniscience and other qualities ... he must grant us privacy of some sort. It is probably a different type than what we think of in human terms ... as probably a lot of things we think are different from reality ... but I think it also makes "free will" possible. If people felt or were watched constantly, their behavior would obviously often be different. So to me, that privacy is part of the actual equation ... and Cain's telling statement/question, "Am I my brother's keeper?" IS something addressed, over and over again, where provisions are made in "caring for the stranger" or the widows, orphans, poor, etc. PEOPLE have a responsibility to others; many will not take this up because they equate human wealth and conveniences as the only possible benefits and treasures to be had.
Also, in terms of "God's Will" which some purport to fully understand and preach to others, I notice that GOD was "talked back to" by Abraham ... who tried to avert the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, by Moses, who averted the wholesale destruction of the Israeli nation while they were wandering and murmuring in the trek through the wilderness ... and others. God Himself showed mercy to Cain and others, deflecting curses and consequences ... which I believe are actually a part of the laws of physics ... not some arbitrary "meanness" on His part. Obviously, mercy was shown by Jesus, with the woman "caught in adultery" and one of the people healed, who was crippled, was told, "You are now restored to health. Do not sin any more, or a worse thing may befall you." (He also told people not to equate miseries in this world with sin .... outward appearances not necessarily reflecting conduct or character) So, it would seem that there are some laws at work, but that God's ways are truly "past finding out", at least completely.
Some people try to say it is "God's will" that people are poor (and this is always said nobly). Jesus said that divorce and the poor would always "be with us" but that was not His will ... it is the harness of the human heart, which can look at misery, even walk over the homeless without a qualm of conscience or compassion. And yet, we are (humans) are supposed to be the highest life form, understanding all facets of reality ... and often, either presuming to speak FOR God or deny Him, altogether. My thoughts on the matter are just that ... thoughts and maybe some understanding, having had many questions, some of which are (now) at least partially answered.
One of the most interesting experiences I had occurred shortly after ex filed for divorce this last time. Divorce has a funny way of showing who friends are and who, thought to be friends, are mere acquaintances (ore even partners in crime, of spouse). I read a verse that I've read before; just that this time, it actually "struck" me ... when Jesus was arrested and carried off "all his disciples deserted him and ran away." These were the people who had seen countless miracles, even those dead restored to life. Yet they ran off, terrified. If that being the case with the son of God, what hope or surprise when our "friends" desert us in times of hardship?
Which leads me to:
"I don't want to take sides." I personally HATE that statement as it denotes (to me) someone who is mealy- mouthed and unprincipled, even though they portray themselves in a positive light. Are there NO moral or other absolutes? It tells me of people who don't want to know details ... they don't care if someone IS wronged ... they don't want THEIR world shaken up ...
and "Good Luck" to you. This last was something I heard, over and over again years ago, when I was shuffled to one agency after another for help (there never being any actual "help"). I would never "qualify" to be helped; instead, I was given yet another tri-fold brochure (another agency) and sent on my quest ... for that which does not exist. The help I DID find was in the kindness and compassion of other people, some of whom were "nobody great" but who knew themselves the miseries of human treatment and were willing to take time and even money from their own life to succor another individual. To me, "Good Luck" came to mean "There is no hope" and I avoid the use of that term as much as possible ... as in those days, it actually helped drive the sense of dissociation and depersonalization I increasingly experienced.
I remember my youngest daughter being upset a few years ago. I don't remember the specifics of the situation. Teenage years (and often, many others!) being fraught with various issues. The silence and secrecy of teens, when all is well ... many situations not coming to light until they have grown serious. My daughter wanted me to comfort her ... she even told me she wanted me to tell her that everything would be alright ... that things would "work out". Of course, I wanted to comfort her, but I could not bring myself to do so by communicating what might be false reassurances or hopes. I told her that it was important to me (and to her) that I be trustworthy ... that I could say those words, IF I had a confidence level of them being true of "at least" 95% or more. If not, I would root for her, provide any suggestions that might be helpful ... I would hug her and I would love her whether things did work out ... or not. She actually was angry with me, that night, for not giving her "what she wanted". I thought about it ... how parents are often imbued, at least during childhood, with abilites to do or fix most anything ...
I think about my daughter and all the talks we've had since then. Yes, there have been times when she has maintained mystery and silence, til things got too rough and weren't working out. That's probably all good, though. Children are supposed to separate from parents, develop their own (independent) identity ... and be prepared, by their parents, to navigate through life successfully, as adults. Eventually, if things go well, they are able to shed their childish views of their parents and hopefully, be able to understand them as imperfect but (hopefully) well-intentioned and behaving people. Realize that some of the disappointments were not flaws in their parents, or a lack of love, but circumstances beyond control. See some of the "little things" and know that those have been greater than their seeming and overt significance. Be able to communicate pretty genuinely and honestly with their parents ... and maybe seek them out as a sounding board at times, in order to benefit from (hopefully) a parent's wisdom and maturity.
Some of my (other) least favorite cliches:
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." I did not EVER sign up for the "Miss Universe Strength Pageant" .... and don't enjoy having been hijacked into it.
"God never gives us more than we can bear". True, but (some) people will and do. Jesus used illustrative stories that show PEOPLE ought to help those so burdened and he minced no words with the Pharisees and scribes in their part of overburdening people without means of relief.
"it's God's will." REALLY?!! I used to, as many have and do, had trouble with the problem of so much evil, if God is real. Reading the Bible, I'm struck by some interesting facts ... God didn't go into the Eden and say, "I know what you did!" In fact, He called out to Adam and Eve, because they were nowhere to be found after eating the fruit. And also, women often are blamed for introducing sin ... where was Adam during the whole serpent interlude? Could he have been curious, maybe hiding behind a tree, to see what would happen? There's a lot that isn't super clear in that book, though (some) people claim authority ... like the fact that Methuselah, who lived the longest (as I learned working out the time frame, NOT in Sunday school) died the year of the Great Flood. Did he die with the wicked? Or just die of old age ... finally ... the year coinciding with the destruction of most of humanity? Another enigma ...
Anyway, God also came down and went to Sodom and Gomorrah, to "see if the reports were true". He did not just sit up in heaven "knowing everything". And He did not just take the word of whoever(s) brought the reports ... He went to find out the truth.
I've come to the conclusion that, despite God's omniscience and other qualities ... he must grant us privacy of some sort. It is probably a different type than what we think of in human terms ... as probably a lot of things we think are different from reality ... but I think it also makes "free will" possible. If people felt or were watched constantly, their behavior would obviously often be different. So to me, that privacy is part of the actual equation ... and Cain's telling statement/question, "Am I my brother's keeper?" IS something addressed, over and over again, where provisions are made in "caring for the stranger" or the widows, orphans, poor, etc. PEOPLE have a responsibility to others; many will not take this up because they equate human wealth and conveniences as the only possible benefits and treasures to be had.
Also, in terms of "God's Will" which some purport to fully understand and preach to others, I notice that GOD was "talked back to" by Abraham ... who tried to avert the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, by Moses, who averted the wholesale destruction of the Israeli nation while they were wandering and murmuring in the trek through the wilderness ... and others. God Himself showed mercy to Cain and others, deflecting curses and consequences ... which I believe are actually a part of the laws of physics ... not some arbitrary "meanness" on His part. Obviously, mercy was shown by Jesus, with the woman "caught in adultery" and one of the people healed, who was crippled, was told, "You are now restored to health. Do not sin any more, or a worse thing may befall you." (He also told people not to equate miseries in this world with sin .... outward appearances not necessarily reflecting conduct or character) So, it would seem that there are some laws at work, but that God's ways are truly "past finding out", at least completely.
Some people try to say it is "God's will" that people are poor (and this is always said nobly). Jesus said that divorce and the poor would always "be with us" but that was not His will ... it is the harness of the human heart, which can look at misery, even walk over the homeless without a qualm of conscience or compassion. And yet, we are (humans) are supposed to be the highest life form, understanding all facets of reality ... and often, either presuming to speak FOR God or deny Him, altogether. My thoughts on the matter are just that ... thoughts and maybe some understanding, having had many questions, some of which are (now) at least partially answered.
One of the most interesting experiences I had occurred shortly after ex filed for divorce this last time. Divorce has a funny way of showing who friends are and who, thought to be friends, are mere acquaintances (ore even partners in crime, of spouse). I read a verse that I've read before; just that this time, it actually "struck" me ... when Jesus was arrested and carried off "all his disciples deserted him and ran away." These were the people who had seen countless miracles, even those dead restored to life. Yet they ran off, terrified. If that being the case with the son of God, what hope or surprise when our "friends" desert us in times of hardship?
Which leads me to:
"I don't want to take sides." I personally HATE that statement as it denotes (to me) someone who is mealy- mouthed and unprincipled, even though they portray themselves in a positive light. Are there NO moral or other absolutes? It tells me of people who don't want to know details ... they don't care if someone IS wronged ... they don't want THEIR world shaken up ...
and "Good Luck" to you. This last was something I heard, over and over again years ago, when I was shuffled to one agency after another for help (there never being any actual "help"). I would never "qualify" to be helped; instead, I was given yet another tri-fold brochure (another agency) and sent on my quest ... for that which does not exist. The help I DID find was in the kindness and compassion of other people, some of whom were "nobody great" but who knew themselves the miseries of human treatment and were willing to take time and even money from their own life to succor another individual. To me, "Good Luck" came to mean "There is no hope" and I avoid the use of that term as much as possible ... as in those days, it actually helped drive the sense of dissociation and depersonalization I increasingly experienced.
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