This photo
Hi everyone. I was away for LD weekend. Really lovely... we expected Earl the hurricane and just got a couple of big windy days and the most amazing stars! The Milky Way!
Andy would have loved it.
Don't I say that, or think of him, so many times a day that you can't keep track. In my worst moments, he is nowhere, in my best moments, he is just everywhere.
So I changed the profile photo, and want to tell you about this one. It's Caitlin, Byron, and Andy, back in their Lord of the Rings long-hair days, lol. Sitting on the back step of my house. Caitlin took off her glasses, and Byron scrunched them both together for the photo. Andy was holding a Bud, as I recall. His face looks pink because he's probably already had a few. Sigh. Andy and beer. A match made in heaven. Or actually second only to Andy and weed, or 'chiba', as he called it.
Sometimes I think that he was the bravest guy on earth, to face cancer and live his life as he did. Any doubts I had, like what's with all the drinking and smoking, why not just face it head on, got totally cleaned up and neutralized in the last weeks of his life.
I re-read a bunch of the journals we put on CaringBridge last year. We're coming up to October when he first got the terrible news that the cancer was growing again. Hope was crushed like a bug. Probably one of the five worst days of my life. I will never forget being with him when we made the call to find out what they saw in the scan. I will never forget his agony. I made promises on that day, that he would never be alone, that he would have dignity in his care to the end. Such a hard day.
Who gives a rats ass if someone facing death from brain cancer wants to drink some beer? Well, a lot of people did, and tried to tell me to get him some help: counselling, AA meetings, whatever. Obviously they did not understand at ALL. Doesn't the dying man get his last choices honored? I am so so so so so SO glad we supported him, to the last minute of his life, short and hard as it was.
Love and peace, Andy-Man. One love. So much love.
xox
Andy would have loved it.
Don't I say that, or think of him, so many times a day that you can't keep track. In my worst moments, he is nowhere, in my best moments, he is just everywhere.
So I changed the profile photo, and want to tell you about this one. It's Caitlin, Byron, and Andy, back in their Lord of the Rings long-hair days, lol. Sitting on the back step of my house. Caitlin took off her glasses, and Byron scrunched them both together for the photo. Andy was holding a Bud, as I recall. His face looks pink because he's probably already had a few. Sigh. Andy and beer. A match made in heaven. Or actually second only to Andy and weed, or 'chiba', as he called it.
Sometimes I think that he was the bravest guy on earth, to face cancer and live his life as he did. Any doubts I had, like what's with all the drinking and smoking, why not just face it head on, got totally cleaned up and neutralized in the last weeks of his life.
I re-read a bunch of the journals we put on CaringBridge last year. We're coming up to October when he first got the terrible news that the cancer was growing again. Hope was crushed like a bug. Probably one of the five worst days of my life. I will never forget being with him when we made the call to find out what they saw in the scan. I will never forget his agony. I made promises on that day, that he would never be alone, that he would have dignity in his care to the end. Such a hard day.
Who gives a rats ass if someone facing death from brain cancer wants to drink some beer? Well, a lot of people did, and tried to tell me to get him some help: counselling, AA meetings, whatever. Obviously they did not understand at ALL. Doesn't the dying man get his last choices honored? I am so so so so so SO glad we supported him, to the last minute of his life, short and hard as it was.
Love and peace, Andy-Man. One love. So much love.
xox
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