This Past Weekend
I took yesterday off, so I had a 3 day weekend. My brother-in-law came to visit & he & my husband & kids played a lot of board games all weekend. No, I didn't really play, since I had some other things to do (like cook, the dishes & all the background stuff), but that's OK. My son was a terrible monster while they were playing: arguing about the rules, accusing his sister of "cheating" (he has been accusing people of "cheating" at games since he was 5!), etc. When I or my husband called him out on it, he got all hostile & ragey.
So here's the question: how do you emotionally detach from hostility when it's a reaction to something you say; in particular, when you are the parent who needs to verbally reprimand your child? Or can you? I mean, if this were just a coworker or even my husband reacting to something I said, I would simply detach & go about my business. But part of my job as a parent is to discipline my child. If I see him treating others wrongly (in particular to a non-adult, such as his sister), I feel the need to point that out to him. I cannot condone bullying. So what to do with his reactive rage? Hmm...
In other news, we took our dog to the vet yesterday, since his whole digestive system has been really off & is not bouncing back quickly as it should. So now he's taking antibiotics & hopefully that will help.
This past Thursday, I got together with my good friend (the one I went walking with this past summer). I opened up to her regarding the fact that my H & I are having difficulties (mainly triggered by some really mean words he said to me prior to my going out). She shared her observances of him during the time she's known him (& she's known him longer than I have): that he seems to have this anger bottled up in him & that he has these inflexible opinions that can't/won't be directly challenged (she challenges him by asking him questions instead, which is cool). She also said she noticed that he's gotten more so since my son was born (which confirms what I've always thought). So I shared with her about some of the info I've gotten from Karla Downing's & Leslie Vernick's websites, which may come in handy for her as she counsels other women she talks to. Best part was: being believed! And not having her think, well, H is such a great guy, are you sure you're going through this?
One last thing: a good friend of mine who goes to our church (& in fact has been in that church all her life) has recently resigned from all her positions & left our church. I'm not totally surprised, I told her, because it seemed like it was a long time coming for her. She was not happy with some of the things that were happening. I just hope she finds another good church to go to & doesn't give up on it altogether. This morning, though, I was sad thinking about it. Because now that she's gone, there are only 4 (maybe 5) other people who have been in our church since we've been going to it. Nothing against the newer people! I just miss all my old friends (some have moved far away, some have passed on, and some are in other area churches).
So here's the question: how do you emotionally detach from hostility when it's a reaction to something you say; in particular, when you are the parent who needs to verbally reprimand your child? Or can you? I mean, if this were just a coworker or even my husband reacting to something I said, I would simply detach & go about my business. But part of my job as a parent is to discipline my child. If I see him treating others wrongly (in particular to a non-adult, such as his sister), I feel the need to point that out to him. I cannot condone bullying. So what to do with his reactive rage? Hmm...
In other news, we took our dog to the vet yesterday, since his whole digestive system has been really off & is not bouncing back quickly as it should. So now he's taking antibiotics & hopefully that will help.
This past Thursday, I got together with my good friend (the one I went walking with this past summer). I opened up to her regarding the fact that my H & I are having difficulties (mainly triggered by some really mean words he said to me prior to my going out). She shared her observances of him during the time she's known him (& she's known him longer than I have): that he seems to have this anger bottled up in him & that he has these inflexible opinions that can't/won't be directly challenged (she challenges him by asking him questions instead, which is cool). She also said she noticed that he's gotten more so since my son was born (which confirms what I've always thought). So I shared with her about some of the info I've gotten from Karla Downing's & Leslie Vernick's websites, which may come in handy for her as she counsels other women she talks to. Best part was: being believed! And not having her think, well, H is such a great guy, are you sure you're going through this?
One last thing: a good friend of mine who goes to our church (& in fact has been in that church all her life) has recently resigned from all her positions & left our church. I'm not totally surprised, I told her, because it seemed like it was a long time coming for her. She was not happy with some of the things that were happening. I just hope she finds another good church to go to & doesn't give up on it altogether. This morning, though, I was sad thinking about it. Because now that she's gone, there are only 4 (maybe 5) other people who have been in our church since we've been going to it. Nothing against the newer people! I just miss all my old friends (some have moved far away, some have passed on, and some are in other area churches).
Replies