This isn\'t how things should be
I called my husband a week ago from work. He asked me if I wanted to hear something terrible. When I asked him what, he told me that he might have seen our daughter behind him in line at the grocery store but he wasn' quite sure that it was her. He said that she had her red hair but she weighed about 40 pounds more than our daughter, and was dressed in a ragged coat and boots. He said it kind of looked like her but it kind of didn't. He had our 13 year old son in the car, because he had picked him up from school ill. He was going to ask him what kind of car our daughter drove but she was gone. We haven't seen her for almost 2 years. She had another son in August. We have calls from bill collectors looking for her every night. I have not written to her since November, when I decided to take a break for awhile. Not hearing from her month after month has been hard. I felt I should keep trying but it has helped to take a bit of a break. It makes me sick to think that we would not even recognize her anymore. Maybe it wasn't her I don't know. It is an uncomfortable and depressing feeling though. I can not seem to shake the feeling that she might have come over here to where she grew up hoping to see us. She only lives 20 minutes away. I don't know. Scott said if this was our daughter, she showed no recognition to him.
Replies
Oh Nancy I can only imagine how you must have felt when your husband told you this story. Maybe it wasn\'t her he saw? I know how hard it is to not have contact with a daughter. Last year, we didn\'t hear or see our daughter for months. But almost 2 years? That is so sad for you. I know you decided to take a break from contacting her. I can totally understand the need to pull back, but I too felt that I should keep trying. I did pull back for a while and gave her time and space. Then I would contact her with just a little text letting her know how much I loved her. Litte by little ...baby steps as I called them. We started to reconnect. Now it hasn\'t been all roses and champagne, but it is a work in progress. I hope and pray you too can find a way to reconnect with your daughter. Take care and know that I am thinking of you. Love, barb
Nancy, I am sorry I am a bit late in seeing your journal here. I was having some issues with by and heart rate and ended up in observation at hospital. Omigosh, my heart skipped a beat reading this. I can understand that adrenalin rush thinking is it her, or isn\'t. I agree maybe with Barb, maybe is wasn\'t her, I think you would have seen some facial expression of acknowledgment. Pulling back after two years is definitely okay to do. It can be so overwhelming. After 2 years with my son, I was feeling numb, time was helping was putting me in a state where I didn\'t think of him as often, in fact, I tried to remember him as he was 3 years ago. You do what you have to do to get through things in life. I hope and pray that she will think and realize what she has done and come back to you and your husband. Take care Nance and know I am here if you need to chat. Love & Prayers, Judy