This is Ridiculous!

If you offered me this man on paper, I would have said FUCK NO.

Man: 15 years your senior, 5 kids, 2 baby mothers, financial difficulties, criminal record, asks you for money all the time, not trustworthy or affectionate.

But don't worry; he's attractive, funny, and you will have great sex.

Poor sweet little girl. The answer would have been a resounding NO. NO NO NO. So why did I not only give this man the time of day BUT I actually now miss him when he is gone? What is going on with me? Some suggest that I just don't want to be alone but I don't think that is it. I've been alone since Sept. 2014 and have been absolutely fine. Peachy even. There is a good number of guys who have shown interest in me and I can't even muster up the time of day for them. Because of THIS asshole. At least my last ex, had a lot going for him which somehow evened out his shortcomings, at least for a little while. THIS motherfucker? Really? I want Cher to come to me as her character in moonstruck, slap me, and tell me to SNAP OUT OF IT. How am I supposed to do this work on a daily basis? My work is hard, and fighting my own personal demons throughout the work day is not an option when I spend my days fighting off everyone else's. And why do I think that if he ends up with another woman that A.) He wasn't with other women when he was with me and B.) that he is treating them any better. No sane person would have put up with this for as long. If he wants that new bitch, he can have her.