This is my destiny

When I was growing up all I ever did was try to find and be at peace with God. When I went on my own to discovered how I felt about religion I learned about nature, because growing up in my family with my father's rage was extreemly difficult and my mother's cleaning binges I being naturally messy and different had to have my room spotless I never felt comfortable there as it was a nightmare and disfunctional, I learned that I had to be self reliant and became independant very young to care for myself at age 18 I was so determined to hae that need fifilled to live alone forever, that I had my tubes burnt and had to concent with a lawyer to do so at a young age without giving birth. I never want to put these issues on a child, as both my grandparents on both sides died of suicide and lung cancer. Determined to stay independent even with my declining health, I burn the midnight oil to finish my best seller and get published to change the way the world treats adn conciders others. To change and make a difference in people's life who have given up that even if you have to make up reasons to do so, you just live breathe, take care of yourself, and love. All I want is everything I have. I am at peace.Now if only I can find an ending to the book dernit.