This is long and ranty...take with a grain of salt.
This is a first for me, that feeling well and not being able to concentrate have happened at the same time. I'm kind of bummed that this is happening. Usually, it was a 1:1 thing. Sucky. Do I really have something *else* wrong with me?
It makes me jump to my lifestyle. I'm trying my best to stay off of meds and be a productive human at the same time. Past humans were able to do this so much better, don't you think? Hunting and gathering were essential, but they were also all the exercise you needed. Food was always real and you didn't have to fight the convenience of protein bars full of junk because they didn't exist. Even more telling, we'd actually eat what was growing around us instead of shipping in bananas from Asia...(even though bananas are a super cheap superfood). People slept when it was dark because they couldn't see anyway. Now we light up our cities, brighter than the daytime...and when I think about all this stuff, when I think about how soy products fuck with my hormones and how the television and my phone fuck with my sleep cycle and how we have to say things like, well, as long as this deadly chemical that we created is less than 0.5 uL of the drinking water, then we can use it on a daily basis, then I just feel like I'm doomed to be an inefficient, fucked up putz forever.
And then we are hooked on all these chemicals...we HAVE to add pesticides to strawberry fields because charging $20 a pound is outrageous and people would rather ingest chemicals and pay less anyway...and we HAVE to use shampoo and conditioner, full of crazy chemicals that I can't pronounce and I'm a scientist(!). And we've got rising allergy stats and rising mental illness stats because we are fucking with our food and our environment to the point that we are now causing gluten sensitivities in everyone. Never mind plastics! And to get off all these chemicals requires long term detox! But you can barely get away from them and you spend all of your time trying to make sure you are not ingesting them, that you can't even live!
To get off of shampoo and conditioner takes about a year, I'm told. Then your body takes over and you have perfectly nice hair that takes care of itself. And as for food, well, between the fact that we keep having babies and ALL OF THE WORLD'S food is controlled by 7 companies...well, that's stupid and money driven...two situations that humans just cannot get themselves out of.
And the population is another place where we keep breeding stupid. Everyone smart enough to know that the Earth cannot sustain the growing population are NOT having kids, and everyone who isn't are still having tons of kids! So we have successfully bred more dumb and less smart into society. Cool. And what's up with all these BS stats? Every 25 seconds someone dies of alcohol, every 40 seconds someone dies of cancer, every hour someone is shot to death...if you added up all these stats, our population should be like 100 people, and we are STILL growing at an exponential rate, then WHAT THE FUCK, HUMANS! STOP HAVING BABIES! Not to mention all the unwanted children out there. I think it'd be great if your first child was required to be an adopted kid. I also think it'd be great if you were required to have a license to have a kid. If I need a license to fish or to have a certain breed of dog, then I should be required to prove I can take care of a small human.
And all of these things seem completely beyond my reach of influence, and though it seems logical to me, others would freak out and say things like, You can't tell people how to live. Seriously? Do you honestly thing that the people with money, who own those 7 food corporations, don't control what you see, when you see it, what information you get, when you get it, etc. YOU DON'T REALLY GET TO CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE! Even your TV conspires against you, did you like Dancing with the Stars? Ok, here are ten other shows on that level...might you be intensely inspired or education by a completely different show? Maybe, but you'll never find out because you are too busy watching more pop culture.
Ok, while that is really pessimistic, it is mostly true. People individually can make smart decisions and take care of themselves...people in large groups work off of the stupidest person.
So...yeah. I think this is the perfect demonstration of GAD, don't you think? Something as simple as "I can't concentrate" is blown up into a comment on the entire society and how it influences how I can't concentrate. I think the real problem is that I'm trying to make the outer world support the changes that I want in my inner world. I've got it backwards...my inner world needs to change, so it can support the changes in the outer world.
Well, what do ya know, all that ranting actually got me somewhere...
It makes me jump to my lifestyle. I'm trying my best to stay off of meds and be a productive human at the same time. Past humans were able to do this so much better, don't you think? Hunting and gathering were essential, but they were also all the exercise you needed. Food was always real and you didn't have to fight the convenience of protein bars full of junk because they didn't exist. Even more telling, we'd actually eat what was growing around us instead of shipping in bananas from Asia...(even though bananas are a super cheap superfood). People slept when it was dark because they couldn't see anyway. Now we light up our cities, brighter than the daytime...and when I think about all this stuff, when I think about how soy products fuck with my hormones and how the television and my phone fuck with my sleep cycle and how we have to say things like, well, as long as this deadly chemical that we created is less than 0.5 uL of the drinking water, then we can use it on a daily basis, then I just feel like I'm doomed to be an inefficient, fucked up putz forever.
And then we are hooked on all these chemicals...we HAVE to add pesticides to strawberry fields because charging $20 a pound is outrageous and people would rather ingest chemicals and pay less anyway...and we HAVE to use shampoo and conditioner, full of crazy chemicals that I can't pronounce and I'm a scientist(!). And we've got rising allergy stats and rising mental illness stats because we are fucking with our food and our environment to the point that we are now causing gluten sensitivities in everyone. Never mind plastics! And to get off all these chemicals requires long term detox! But you can barely get away from them and you spend all of your time trying to make sure you are not ingesting them, that you can't even live!
To get off of shampoo and conditioner takes about a year, I'm told. Then your body takes over and you have perfectly nice hair that takes care of itself. And as for food, well, between the fact that we keep having babies and ALL OF THE WORLD'S food is controlled by 7 companies...well, that's stupid and money driven...two situations that humans just cannot get themselves out of.
And the population is another place where we keep breeding stupid. Everyone smart enough to know that the Earth cannot sustain the growing population are NOT having kids, and everyone who isn't are still having tons of kids! So we have successfully bred more dumb and less smart into society. Cool. And what's up with all these BS stats? Every 25 seconds someone dies of alcohol, every 40 seconds someone dies of cancer, every hour someone is shot to death...if you added up all these stats, our population should be like 100 people, and we are STILL growing at an exponential rate, then WHAT THE FUCK, HUMANS! STOP HAVING BABIES! Not to mention all the unwanted children out there. I think it'd be great if your first child was required to be an adopted kid. I also think it'd be great if you were required to have a license to have a kid. If I need a license to fish or to have a certain breed of dog, then I should be required to prove I can take care of a small human.
And all of these things seem completely beyond my reach of influence, and though it seems logical to me, others would freak out and say things like, You can't tell people how to live. Seriously? Do you honestly thing that the people with money, who own those 7 food corporations, don't control what you see, when you see it, what information you get, when you get it, etc. YOU DON'T REALLY GET TO CHOOSE HOW TO LIVE! Even your TV conspires against you, did you like Dancing with the Stars? Ok, here are ten other shows on that level...might you be intensely inspired or education by a completely different show? Maybe, but you'll never find out because you are too busy watching more pop culture.
Ok, while that is really pessimistic, it is mostly true. People individually can make smart decisions and take care of themselves...people in large groups work off of the stupidest person.
So...yeah. I think this is the perfect demonstration of GAD, don't you think? Something as simple as "I can't concentrate" is blown up into a comment on the entire society and how it influences how I can't concentrate. I think the real problem is that I'm trying to make the outer world support the changes that I want in my inner world. I've got it backwards...my inner world needs to change, so it can support the changes in the outer world.
Well, what do ya know, all that ranting actually got me somewhere...
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