third pregnancy??
Hey. Well, I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant. About 80% sure that I'm somewhere about 4 weeks pregnant. Even as I'm typing this the "morning sickness" is kicking my butt. I know part of me is like there's no PROOF that I'm pregnant besides my own instinct. All the tests have been negative and I have yet to miss a period, but this is the same thing I went through the last two pregnancies and I'm not going to sit around waiting on a doctor to tell me what's going on.
I'm sick-to-death of waiting on stupid lazy doctor's opinions. I did that last time and listened when they said I wasn't pregnant and ended up drinking and smoking before the tests became positive, I let them convince me I wasn't pregnant even though my body was telling me I was. NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!!
So, for now, I am not going to get my hopes up (haha, yeah right), I'm just going to avoid alcohol caffeine cigarettes and all other poisons until I'm on my period.
I hope I'm not going off the deep end. I feel crazy, I think everyone is looking at me like I've finally lost it after losing two pregnancies and I must be convincing myself I'm knocked up every time I get a little queasy, which I'm not. I've been throwing up daily for weeks, and I'm one of those women who's symptoms show up early and hard. I've got every damn symptom in the book.
I told my boyfriend and he has not said a single word about it. Ugh, I better not start on that topic or I swear I'll get so mad I'll throw him out in the rain.
Part of me is begging God for another chance at having a baby, part of me was just barely getting used to the idea of not having a baby anytime soon and is whining that there's no way I can do this, and part of me is so freaking scared to lose another baby that it's almost impossible to allow myself a little hope. Even if I am pregnant, there's always going to be some stupid voice in my head screaming "don't get too comfy sis, baby's die EVERY FREAKING DAY, there is no happy ending."
God damn every fairy tale I ever read for turning me into a chump who used to believe in happily ever after!!
I'm sick-to-death of waiting on stupid lazy doctor's opinions. I did that last time and listened when they said I wasn't pregnant and ended up drinking and smoking before the tests became positive, I let them convince me I wasn't pregnant even though my body was telling me I was. NOT GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN!!
So, for now, I am not going to get my hopes up (haha, yeah right), I'm just going to avoid alcohol caffeine cigarettes and all other poisons until I'm on my period.
I hope I'm not going off the deep end. I feel crazy, I think everyone is looking at me like I've finally lost it after losing two pregnancies and I must be convincing myself I'm knocked up every time I get a little queasy, which I'm not. I've been throwing up daily for weeks, and I'm one of those women who's symptoms show up early and hard. I've got every damn symptom in the book.
I told my boyfriend and he has not said a single word about it. Ugh, I better not start on that topic or I swear I'll get so mad I'll throw him out in the rain.
Part of me is begging God for another chance at having a baby, part of me was just barely getting used to the idea of not having a baby anytime soon and is whining that there's no way I can do this, and part of me is so freaking scared to lose another baby that it's almost impossible to allow myself a little hope. Even if I am pregnant, there's always going to be some stupid voice in my head screaming "don't get too comfy sis, baby's die EVERY FREAKING DAY, there is no happy ending."
God damn every fairy tale I ever read for turning me into a chump who used to believe in happily ever after!!
Replies
Congratulations... I hope. I always have my period for nearly 2 trimesters so... Just go in for a blood test and to pee on one of their sticks. Especially if you are that far along.
Think positive thoughts... I know that since I am getting a divorce I won\'t be having a baby any time soon. If all goes as planned, I\'ll have a healthy screaming baby in 2014.
Many positive thoughts and hugs!!!
Nneka
You know better than anyone else, this is your body and just hang in there. People have no right to have an opinion about you. Just wait out the morning sickness and the positive test will come. Congratulations.
Praying for a positive test soon! Good luck, and you\'re right, you know your body best. :) Yay though. Love and hugs. Jessie
Hoping for a BFP from you soon, you\'re doing it exactly right, you know your body and you\'re taking the good precautions... Pregnancy is a risky journey, babies do die everyday, 11 per day in the UK, but you also have to remember that 1100 babies are born alive in the UK every day too... so even though we have the negative experience, the harsh reality... there is every reason to be optimistic... especially if they can\'t find a definitive ongoing reason for your losses... sending sticky bean dust and lots of wishes for you for 2012!!