Thinking Thinking Thinking

So I feel that I have gotten over "wanting him." I have accepted the fact that he was toxic to my life and my well being. However, I have found myself recently missing him and just wanting to get ahold of him and let him hold me. I can't explain why though because I know there is so much better out there!
Every time this happens I then begin to replay all the fights. For instance, once, I had followed him so he could get his car fixed and we could go run errands. We ended up sitting in my car chatting or something...I saw a stray dog and, as I have a BLEEDING heart for animals, told my ex I wanted to give him some water in a tupperwear container I had in my car. He told me that was ridiculous and if I did he would get out of my car and just wait inside. I gave the dog water, not thinking he would actually leave me (because that is insane right?! for wanting to help a poor dog) and guess what...he did and I got the silent treatment for a full day! What else was awful oh, I unpacked groceries wrong, bought the wrong type of canned fruit and bottled water, cooked my asparagus wrong, ate my rice wrong, was too nosy, too sensitive, selfish, messier than his 4 year old daughter, didn't know what real stress was like, cried too much (because crying never does anything), etc.
 
I keep trying to focus on all this stuff that hurt so much so I stop missing him! Ugh! This is so frustrating! I just want him out of my head!
 

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

It is truly amazing how perfect these men are, or think they are. My ex told me ridiculous things like that all the time too. He hated that I would spend time texting an old friend. he said he didn\'t text people all day, he just hung out with them til 5 in the morning while I was home alone. I never cooked anything right. I bought the wrong groceries because I forgot his snacks one time. I bought the wrong scented candles. I got to a point where I was so afraid of messing up that I would forget things constantly and then stress so it just made things worse. That made me stupid and lazy. But at the same time I still miss him, I understand. Its all just a part of the abuse, but I know how hard it is.
stacyleanne
stacyleanne

Thanks girl. One day, I\'m sure we will laugh about all this and their stupid faces :)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Ughhh! These men are so sick! My ex was so intense about the groceries. Especially the way you put them in the frig or in the cabinets. I mean does it really matter? The labels had to be facing a certain direction. And god don\'t even get me started about cooking.... GOD FORBID I do anything slightly wrong. I would never hear the end. Then he would lurk over my shoulder while I was cooking to make sure I was doing it \"right.\" Because he was some sort of master chef? haha.
Anyways... I\'m sorry to hear to miss him but that is so normal! Anytime you have spent time with another person you get attached and its always difficult. An abusive ex is even more difficult to let go because you feel confused about what happened. I feel like I never got closure. It all happened so suddenly and I was stunned.
I hope you feel better! :]
hope2168
hope2168

OMG WHAT A JERK........... SO GLAD U GOT OUT. THAT IS SO SICK. JUST FOCUS ON THAT STUFF. YOU WILL BE GREAT WITHOUT HIM. HUGS