Thinking Thinking Thinking
So I feel that I have gotten over "wanting him." I have accepted the fact that he was toxic to my life and my well being. However, I have found myself recently missing him and just wanting to get ahold of him and let him hold me. I can't explain why though because I know there is so much better out there!
Every time this happens I then begin to replay all the fights. For instance, once, I had followed him so he could get his car fixed and we could go run errands. We ended up sitting in my car chatting or something...I saw a stray dog and, as I have a BLEEDING heart for animals, told my ex I wanted to give him some water in a tupperwear container I had in my car. He told me that was ridiculous and if I did he would get out of my car and just wait inside. I gave the dog water, not thinking he would actually leave me (because that is insane right?! for wanting to help a poor dog) and guess what...he did and I got the silent treatment for a full day! What else was awful oh, I unpacked groceries wrong, bought the wrong type of canned fruit and bottled water, cooked my asparagus wrong, ate my rice wrong, was too nosy, too sensitive, selfish, messier than his 4 year old daughter, didn't know what real stress was like, cried too much (because crying never does anything), etc.
I keep trying to focus on all this stuff that hurt so much so I stop missing him! Ugh! This is so frustrating! I just want him out of my head!
Every time this happens I then begin to replay all the fights. For instance, once, I had followed him so he could get his car fixed and we could go run errands. We ended up sitting in my car chatting or something...I saw a stray dog and, as I have a BLEEDING heart for animals, told my ex I wanted to give him some water in a tupperwear container I had in my car. He told me that was ridiculous and if I did he would get out of my car and just wait inside. I gave the dog water, not thinking he would actually leave me (because that is insane right?! for wanting to help a poor dog) and guess what...he did and I got the silent treatment for a full day! What else was awful oh, I unpacked groceries wrong, bought the wrong type of canned fruit and bottled water, cooked my asparagus wrong, ate my rice wrong, was too nosy, too sensitive, selfish, messier than his 4 year old daughter, didn't know what real stress was like, cried too much (because crying never does anything), etc.
I keep trying to focus on all this stuff that hurt so much so I stop missing him! Ugh! This is so frustrating! I just want him out of my head!
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