thinking, and thinking...
I find myself in here everyday. The place where Eric and I met.. where we became friends, before we fell in love. I find myself reading other peoples heartaches, and just can't believe that i am AGAIN in that group. I NEVER EVER thought that Eric would be like the other guys.. There was somethign about him. He said I was beautiful, he would always say,,, and touch my cheek,, "are you real?" He chased me in the grocery store, and would make me feel like a school girl again. When he met me at the airport, it was so cute.. We had fun ghost hunting, seeing new places. I took him to my family christmas last year, everyone made me feel wanted. I just NEVER thought Eric would be this man.
I love him. And I know he isn't used to having a good Women he said. His x wife was pretty bad. They didn't have any real kind of loving relationship. And it sounds like the past ones he had weren't the best either. He had told me that he wasn't used to having someone so nice and good to him. So who wouldn't want that?
I was there through all his problems and unhappyness. He hasn't worked the whole time I've known hm, but I STILL never gave up on him. I didn't judge him, because of what he had or didn't have. I made sure he knew that i loved him everyday. Even when he was being rude to me, or yelling at me or accusing me of things that I didn't do. And even when he was believing strangers that he didn't know say bad things about me, which weren't true.. I still love him !
to be honest... with myself and to whoever wants to listen... I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HIM ! I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and be there for him through his good days and bad days. I would have made a great wife for him. I knew he had an anger problem, but I didn't care. I still loved him.
He gave me a ring..not a diamond engagement thing, but I LOVE this ring. because it came from him. I always keep it on. I will always wear it in hopes that one day he will wake up and see what a good women he has here.
I will go on because I have to. But I again... everyday i will double check my phone to see if he called or texted me, I will double check my e-mails, to see if he writes, I will wait and see if he will remember all the special things and places we had planned to see and do. I will hope that he looks at our video's, pictures, and our scrapbook. We really had a good life planned.
He says he's confused. I was so faithful to him, and honest with him. It hurts. He told me not to give up hope, but in the same breath would say he doesn't want to give me false hope either. He see's serendiptity signs off and on, but why won't he just let himself love us . He says he loves me,, He told my mom. I can feel it that he does. Then what is wrong?
I was making plans to move there with him.. why couldn't he had just hung on a little longer. I was doing it for him and I. I wanted to get a job before I moved there, but he wouldn't wait just a couple more months OR less if I had found a job.
I hope that one day , I will hear my phone ring, and on the other end, I will hear his voice, and we talk , and he starts to cry, and tells me he loves me and don't want to loose me! He was coming here for xmas, and now, I guess that's out too. What a great christmas gift if he would change his mind about all this. I have so many neat ideas if he did.. what he could do.. I guess I watch to many romance moves with happy endings.
I wanted so bad to meet his mother and sister in person. and see where he grew up. I was so interested in his life and everything about him.
All I can do is hope and pray. He is really is a lucky man to have a women fight for him, and want him. But I know... it takes two .
Christmas is around the corner. There is magic in christmas.. And love ....Maybe magic will come my way... I sure could use it...
I love him. And I know he isn't used to having a good Women he said. His x wife was pretty bad. They didn't have any real kind of loving relationship. And it sounds like the past ones he had weren't the best either. He had told me that he wasn't used to having someone so nice and good to him. So who wouldn't want that?
I was there through all his problems and unhappyness. He hasn't worked the whole time I've known hm, but I STILL never gave up on him. I didn't judge him, because of what he had or didn't have. I made sure he knew that i loved him everyday. Even when he was being rude to me, or yelling at me or accusing me of things that I didn't do. And even when he was believing strangers that he didn't know say bad things about me, which weren't true.. I still love him !
to be honest... with myself and to whoever wants to listen... I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HIM ! I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and be there for him through his good days and bad days. I would have made a great wife for him. I knew he had an anger problem, but I didn't care. I still loved him.
He gave me a ring..not a diamond engagement thing, but I LOVE this ring. because it came from him. I always keep it on. I will always wear it in hopes that one day he will wake up and see what a good women he has here.
I will go on because I have to. But I again... everyday i will double check my phone to see if he called or texted me, I will double check my e-mails, to see if he writes, I will wait and see if he will remember all the special things and places we had planned to see and do. I will hope that he looks at our video's, pictures, and our scrapbook. We really had a good life planned.
He says he's confused. I was so faithful to him, and honest with him. It hurts. He told me not to give up hope, but in the same breath would say he doesn't want to give me false hope either. He see's serendiptity signs off and on, but why won't he just let himself love us . He says he loves me,, He told my mom. I can feel it that he does. Then what is wrong?
I was making plans to move there with him.. why couldn't he had just hung on a little longer. I was doing it for him and I. I wanted to get a job before I moved there, but he wouldn't wait just a couple more months OR less if I had found a job.
I hope that one day , I will hear my phone ring, and on the other end, I will hear his voice, and we talk , and he starts to cry, and tells me he loves me and don't want to loose me! He was coming here for xmas, and now, I guess that's out too. What a great christmas gift if he would change his mind about all this. I have so many neat ideas if he did.. what he could do.. I guess I watch to many romance moves with happy endings.
I wanted so bad to meet his mother and sister in person. and see where he grew up. I was so interested in his life and everything about him.
All I can do is hope and pray. He is really is a lucky man to have a women fight for him, and want him. But I know... it takes two .
Christmas is around the corner. There is magic in christmas.. And love ....Maybe magic will come my way... I sure could use it...
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