Thinking about trying again...maybe with donor eggs?
Okay, I had a birthday last month and turned 43 yrs old...a year after my Mom gave birth to me. I really thought that last year would be my year to get pregnant but it wasn't....Haven't given up...
I saw a new doctor a couple of weeks ago and he is supposed to be the best of the best in my area. Well, he read my history and pretty much told me what my first doctor had said: very unlikely you will get pregnant with your own eggs esp at your age. You have a better chance with donor eggs. But I told him that I still wanted to try with my own eggs one more time and he kept telling me that I needed to be realistic. Then he went on to outline a plan I think just to pacify me just because I wouldn't leave his office. I asked him about the weight loss theory again and he said that even so much as losing 5% of my weight would certainly help. He suggested I try that first and come back and see him in 6 mos. Well, I have yet to start a weight loss plan. When I should be going to the gym and eating better, I'm eating all kinds of crap that I shouldn't be eating. Just feel like nothing I do helps anyway. I know this thinking is not good and is destructive but I can't seem to get myself back into exercising.
His IVF nurses then mailed me a Donor Egg packet with all of the pre-requisites of all the tests I would have to take once a donor was selected. Boy oh boy is that list long! I am so overwhelmed again...The packet included different donor egg agencies, attorneys, psychologists, etc. Why can't this process be easy? Just feels so very difficult, all the time.
If any of you have gone through donor eggs, can you pls reply? I really need some help and support....please...now that I'm mentally ready to do this, not sure what the first step is...
Thank you so very much!
I saw a new doctor a couple of weeks ago and he is supposed to be the best of the best in my area. Well, he read my history and pretty much told me what my first doctor had said: very unlikely you will get pregnant with your own eggs esp at your age. You have a better chance with donor eggs. But I told him that I still wanted to try with my own eggs one more time and he kept telling me that I needed to be realistic. Then he went on to outline a plan I think just to pacify me just because I wouldn't leave his office. I asked him about the weight loss theory again and he said that even so much as losing 5% of my weight would certainly help. He suggested I try that first and come back and see him in 6 mos. Well, I have yet to start a weight loss plan. When I should be going to the gym and eating better, I'm eating all kinds of crap that I shouldn't be eating. Just feel like nothing I do helps anyway. I know this thinking is not good and is destructive but I can't seem to get myself back into exercising.
His IVF nurses then mailed me a Donor Egg packet with all of the pre-requisites of all the tests I would have to take once a donor was selected. Boy oh boy is that list long! I am so overwhelmed again...The packet included different donor egg agencies, attorneys, psychologists, etc. Why can't this process be easy? Just feels so very difficult, all the time.
If any of you have gone through donor eggs, can you pls reply? I really need some help and support....please...now that I'm mentally ready to do this, not sure what the first step is...
Thank you so very much!
Replies
I\'ve no idea about donor eggs sorry but my heart goes out to you and hope you find the answers and support that you need to get you through this difficult time.
Dear Speckled Mouse, thank you for taking the time to reply. It means a lot to know that someone cares. :)
I haven\'t been through the egg donor route but it did cross my mind as a possibility. We did do adoption and it ended up being VERY overwhelming at first. There was SOOO much out there. I\'d maybe start with calling an agency or two and just asking about their program. Maybe ask if they have a introduction meeting or some pamphlets they could mail you. Maybe also ask them if they have people who have gone through this that would be willing to talk/email you. Good luck!
Hello my friend! Looks like I came on here at the right time!!! You remember my story? It took me a LONG time to come to terms with the fact that I needed a Donor egg... Now i know, its the BEST thing in my WHOLE life that I ever did!!! I love my little girl SO much and I would never have had her if it wasn\'t for Egg Donation. It was ALL worth it!!! xox
I am not familiar with the process but I just want you to know that I am here for you. This is a route that I might be looking into if thing keep going the way it is going. I am so exhausted and drained. Maybe you can ask your RE which donor agency they used the most in the past that gave them a good success rate.
Oh, maybe use a donor that have donated before and resulted in a successful pregnancy. Keep me posted. Take care and good luck my friend.
Hi, There is a donor eggs or donor embryo support group on Daily Strength - there is a link to it on my profile page. You can read lots of great information in that group. I did 2 IUI\'s and 4 IVF\'s w/ my own eggs (all BFN\'s) and then did DE IVF - BFP! I have a 16 month old daughter from that cycle and I\'m so thankful for the technology that allowed DH and myself to be blessed w/ her. I got pregnant with my DD when I was 43 and delivered her at age 44. DH and I got married when I was 38 and we started ttc a few months before our wedding, so we endured 5 years of infertility before I had my BFP. Ironically I got pregnant on my own this past December, wasn\'t even trying and at age 45, but sadly it ended in misscarriage at 7 weeks, still pretty amazed my AMA was able to do it (if even for a short time). I didn\'t have to use a donor agency, go to a psycholigist/psychiatrist or have an attorney, so you might check other RE\'s to see if they have less stringent requirements for you to go the donor egg route. My RE had an in house pool of donors (and it\'s much less complicated, not to mention cheaper to go that way). If you have any questions about donor egg cycles, please feel free to ask me and I\'ll answer anything you want to know. Good luck to you.
Hi! As others mentioned there is a wonderful DE support group here on DS. I too used DE and I have an amazing 17 mos old son. My biggest regret now is continuing to try with my own eggs after I was told by 2 different REs that it probably wouldn\'t happen. But it is a lot to process. You may want to look through that group and see everyone\'s experiences. Good luck to you.
We went with DE due to my age... and I finally got my BFP at 44 with a donor egg... and now we have a healthy 10 month old. It\'s worth everything! The ladies on the DE Board are amazing... they helped me through my whole process to include a BFN with DE before getting our BFP! Good luck to you!!
hi honey..Just read all the responses and they look soo promising and all hopefull..just think about it and go for it..
for the weight loss thing..i am over weight also..like 35 pounds to lose and am now in my 2ww..hopefully willhave BFP soon but am trying to watch what i eat..what works for me?i eat lost of good for me foods.and so am too full to have too much junk but i do have some every week..and just walk on treadmill for an hour while wayching a movie on TV.....do small things..like drinking milk..water and salads and fruit and enjoy them and u will feel much better sweety..think of all the nice time u will have with ur baby;)
I too did donor egg after three failed IVFs. The donor board here on DS was wonderful and made all the difference in making my decision. We now have a beautiful almost 11 month old. I highly recommend you jump over to that board. Wishing you peace in your journey.
Thank you everyone for your comments; I have yet to look for the donor board here on DS but will....soon. DH and I have a consultation appt with my first RE in a few hours today so we\'ll see what enlightening thoughts he has for us...I am bittersweet about going to see him because he made me BAWL two years ago. But we are in a different place now and are open to donor eggs so maybe it will be better this time. I hope anyway.
Hi :)..what happened with ur appointment? :)
waiting for ur update and prayuing it is a new fresh great start ;)