Thinking about everything
So it's officially been a week since we started this "break" of ours and honestly it still hurts so bad. I find myself crying randomly throughout the day just wishing things could have been different. Never did I think that I would be going through this especially since we are set to get married in 6 months. I know I cannot blame myself for everything but I find myself thinking about alot of things I would do differently if only we can work things out. I know I wasn't always the best person to be with, i'm emotional and love the attention from my man. I've never been extremely sexual and sometimes I feel as if that is to blame. Don't get me wrong..and this is a little personal, but I love everything else before the actual act. Sometimes I wonder that maybe if I listened to his needs better than maybe we wouldn't be in this situation.
Aside from all that I know I am good girl. I may not have the supermodel look like some of his friends girlfriends but I know deep down that I offer him so much. I am kind and always put his needs before mine because it made me happy knowing that he was happy. I'm an honest, caring and trusting girl who has never done anything to break that. I wish his friends weren't in the picture as much, just like in the beginning of our relationship. To break it down...his friends are all older then us, in their late 20's and early 30's. They're all still stuck in that partying phase of life and all interested in that sexy slutty girl whom they hope will be wifey material. How come my fiance doesn't understand that I AM that wifey material type of girl? I think he's looking for too much acceptance from his friends and I don't know how to make him feel any different. I know he loves me, there is no doubt about that. I just feel there is too many outside sources that are playing a part in our relationship. His parents divorcing as well is not helping much as I feel that he thinks we will end up in the same road. How can I make him understand that we are NOT his parents and we aren't like everyone else? I just wish he could think things through and understand that he has everything in his hands and he is so close to losing it.
As I said, it's only been a week since this break. Should I continue to give him space as he needs? I know they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and I really am hoping that is just the case. I understand marriage being scary but it also isn't fair to me to have me here especially since he knows how I get. I've heard that sometimes space is good and it just puts his priorities in line. I don't want to be clingy especially when he just asked me for some space. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on our 7 year relationship because I think it is something we can work on and make better if we just give it a shot.
I guess I can only take it day by day and hope for the best. I miss him like crazy and just wish I could be in his arms right now, but sadly that is not the case. I pray that things get better and he realizes what he has in me. Any advice to stay strong is helpful. Thank you everyone.
Aside from all that I know I am good girl. I may not have the supermodel look like some of his friends girlfriends but I know deep down that I offer him so much. I am kind and always put his needs before mine because it made me happy knowing that he was happy. I'm an honest, caring and trusting girl who has never done anything to break that. I wish his friends weren't in the picture as much, just like in the beginning of our relationship. To break it down...his friends are all older then us, in their late 20's and early 30's. They're all still stuck in that partying phase of life and all interested in that sexy slutty girl whom they hope will be wifey material. How come my fiance doesn't understand that I AM that wifey material type of girl? I think he's looking for too much acceptance from his friends and I don't know how to make him feel any different. I know he loves me, there is no doubt about that. I just feel there is too many outside sources that are playing a part in our relationship. His parents divorcing as well is not helping much as I feel that he thinks we will end up in the same road. How can I make him understand that we are NOT his parents and we aren't like everyone else? I just wish he could think things through and understand that he has everything in his hands and he is so close to losing it.
As I said, it's only been a week since this break. Should I continue to give him space as he needs? I know they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder and I really am hoping that is just the case. I understand marriage being scary but it also isn't fair to me to have me here especially since he knows how I get. I've heard that sometimes space is good and it just puts his priorities in line. I don't want to be clingy especially when he just asked me for some space. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on our 7 year relationship because I think it is something we can work on and make better if we just give it a shot.
I guess I can only take it day by day and hope for the best. I miss him like crazy and just wish I could be in his arms right now, but sadly that is not the case. I pray that things get better and he realizes what he has in me. Any advice to stay strong is helpful. Thank you everyone.
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