Thinking a lot led to this conclusion

 I have learned why I have engaged in self-destructive behaviors in the past. It started with my teenage years, feeling controlled and suffocated by my alcoholic step-dad. I became anorexic , suicidal and was cutting myself. Friends helped me out of these behaviors, with unconventional methods. Cutting lingered, but rarely occurred throughout my early 20's.  A few years ago, feeling controlled and unheard, because of a family problem, I self-medicated/abused alcohol, but now I can drink occasionally and stick to my limits. I often fear expressing my opinion/feeling/needs and am too much of a people-pleaser. I am actively seeking better communication skills and coping methods. http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-control-issues.html#