Think I'm getting what I wanted
My weekend was fabulous. Usual Friday night pool date then on Saturday we spent all day together and went out Saturday night. When we got back, it happened. We kissed. I wanted it I got it. I didn't know if I wanted random no committed sex or a relationship so here's what God gave me and I'm not complaining one bit. She is amazing and is more into me than anyone before. I think it's all about to happen.
Work is great. I do my usual off loading and storing and I keep to myself. Life is about to take a turn with my personal life.
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Sounds like you have a winner.
Really glad to hear that things are going well -- both personally and professionally!
Thanx Ladybug7. It really is right now.
I am impressed with you and your gain of maturity and being what I call a real man. Real intimacy takes vulnerability but it lasts. Sex with a stranger is just using their body for your own gratification. It is not making love. Your soul cries out for real love, real vulnerability and I am impressed you are willing to change and go for better.
It's difficult. I have feelings going in both directions. I know what I should do but those demons I have is saying something completely different. I'm getting older and want someone to be here long term but my past has been very different. I'm working on doing the right or best thing.
Propinquity, we can all change. Change is not easy but it is very valuable. Look forward. Stop looking backward. We all have demons but you are currently also having wisdom. Using someone's body for our own gratification is actually yucky if we think about it harder. I personally use a lot of mantra's and write them on sticky notes and read they daily, multiple times. Figure out what your new goal is and make it a mantra and read it over and over especially when the demons start chattering. It is mind over matter. Train your brain to seek better and you will get there. You might also find a men's accountability group. If you have an accountability partner, it might help. But I actually admire your willingness to change and the way you are approaching the idea of creating a healthy relationship.