Things that I fear

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow.  Last week he asked that I bring a list of things that I fear....So, I guess I'd better get to it...not necessarily in this order.  1.  Hanna dying2.  The sadness, loneliness and guilt that would result from Hanna's death3.  Hanna never becoming the person that I know is inside her.4.  Hanna marrying a drug addict (Kevin) 5.  Hanna having a baby with a drug addict and having a life of diminished results6.  Being manipulated by Hanna into enabling her to use drugs that will kill her7.  Becoming so depressed that I can't take care of my youngest daughter Lucy8.  Letting this horrible thing with Hanna ruin my relationship with Bryan9.  Bryan finding out that I'm really just an angry sad, old crone10.Being alone with all my failures11.Republicans gaining control of congress 12.Disappointing the people that I love13.Passing on the same craziness to Lucy that I have to Hanna14.Hanna going away and never hearing from her again15.Giving Lucy the chaotic life that I've given Hanna16.Hanna going to live with Kevin, stopping her psych meds and killing herself17.Hanna starting to cut herself again18.Doing what I feel is wrong just to be near Hanna19.Loving her to death20.Allowing my fears to have a negative result on Lucy and Bryan's life21.Asking Bryan to tolerate too much, until he finally says, "fuck this, I'm outta here"22.Hanna dying23.Buying a casket to bury her in24.Planning a funeral service25.A line of people telling my how sorry they are26.Falling apart27.Dying