Things i want to tell you. . .
Hi Darlin'
I took a big step this past weekend. I went to visit our friends up north I have wanted to see them but was just to afraid. There are so many memories of the two of us making that trip. Driving and talking all the way there. Having such a wonderful time with the three coles we visit and then talking about it and laughing all the way home a few days later. Doing this alone was so daunting. But i did it.
I spent Friday with our best friends. Laughed, cried, and just relished tge tie together. Friday night we all got together for dinner. The first time in two years. We all kissed you so much. But you were a big part of the conversation as we reminisced, she'd a few tears and laughed.
The pain of your aabsence hit me full on when I got home and wanted so badly to talk over the visit. I wanted to tell you how great D looks. How well he is doing at the veterans home. How well his wife has adjusted to assisted living. How pleasant their rooms are. I wanted to weep with you over having their home closed and their possessions sold. I felt so lost and lonely. I would never want you to have to return to your poor failing body and the pain, I just miss you so much. So, I will write to you here. We both know how important those dear people are to us. They are truly closer than siblings. They are family we chose. I want you to know they are ok. And that I am ok, too. I'm half of what I was with you, but I am going to live that half fully just like you wanted me to do.
I am taking a few community education classes at the local community college. They get me out of the house and I spend a few hours with other people. I am going to start working a few hours a week doing home health. I took a Certified Nursing class and a Medication Aide class so i could provide assistance to people in medical need in their home. I hope i can work with hospice patients. You know i have felt that calling for a few years but chose to spend my time with you instead. I guess thapeacefult this is my time to accomplish this goal. I pray i can be a blessing to those i work with. I feel that God has gifted me by letting me be with you and my parents during the final moments on the earth. It's a holy time and i pray that i can be a peaceful presence for those that need me.
I love you, dear, and I always will. Like you always said, Catch you on the flip side.
I took a big step this past weekend. I went to visit our friends up north I have wanted to see them but was just to afraid. There are so many memories of the two of us making that trip. Driving and talking all the way there. Having such a wonderful time with the three coles we visit and then talking about it and laughing all the way home a few days later. Doing this alone was so daunting. But i did it.
I spent Friday with our best friends. Laughed, cried, and just relished tge tie together. Friday night we all got together for dinner. The first time in two years. We all kissed you so much. But you were a big part of the conversation as we reminisced, she'd a few tears and laughed.
The pain of your aabsence hit me full on when I got home and wanted so badly to talk over the visit. I wanted to tell you how great D looks. How well he is doing at the veterans home. How well his wife has adjusted to assisted living. How pleasant their rooms are. I wanted to weep with you over having their home closed and their possessions sold. I felt so lost and lonely. I would never want you to have to return to your poor failing body and the pain, I just miss you so much. So, I will write to you here. We both know how important those dear people are to us. They are truly closer than siblings. They are family we chose. I want you to know they are ok. And that I am ok, too. I'm half of what I was with you, but I am going to live that half fully just like you wanted me to do.
I am taking a few community education classes at the local community college. They get me out of the house and I spend a few hours with other people. I am going to start working a few hours a week doing home health. I took a Certified Nursing class and a Medication Aide class so i could provide assistance to people in medical need in their home. I hope i can work with hospice patients. You know i have felt that calling for a few years but chose to spend my time with you instead. I guess thapeacefult this is my time to accomplish this goal. I pray i can be a blessing to those i work with. I feel that God has gifted me by letting me be with you and my parents during the final moments on the earth. It's a holy time and i pray that i can be a peaceful presence for those that need me.
I love you, dear, and I always will. Like you always said, Catch you on the flip side.
Replies
Such a,sweet journal. I know hes glad you went. You will be a great hospice health care assitant. I too have wanted to do hospice. I use to be a jome health nurse. I would like to volunteer someday. With love and hugs carla
Such a nice journal. Hugs and Love, Michele
Very happy for you, Bailey - for making this trip, facing fears and beginning to work with hospice patients. May God bless you each day with strength and courage.
Hugs - Doye
I\'m doing that right now, Bailey.so hard to do again, alone, what you did with your husband. So many firsts.. each first alone brings a memory of being together. Looking for a way.