Things I have learned during Limited Contact
It isnt worth it lol. We get along ok but for the most part its impeding my healing and moving forward. It really boils down to..do you want to be friends with your ex? After my mom died she was supportive and we chatted, etc., but its just not productive. Even though my mind and everyone else tells me how great Im doing and I have stuck to my guns almost 5 months without a drop of liquor, hitting the gym and getting my daughter to go with me..whenever I see a text or email from the ex its just ultimately a downer. I know as the dumper she has totally moved on and probably doesnt give 2 cents about texting or emailing or calling, but as the dumpee which most of us are here, its just too bizarre to continue. I need to focus on me, get myself in the best shape possible physically and mentally. Im just not sure thats possible while still communicating with her only 5 months post BU...? I thought a lot about this last night (weekends always do this), and just found myself thinking TOO much about it. I need to move on, and realistically I dont think I can if I still chat with her. I texted her this am to take my email off her Wireless account, for some reason Im getting usage alerts for her account she created after she dumped me. After that, if she contacts me again I think it may be best to tell her I dont want to talk anymore. It kind of sucks but I think Im stuck if I dont...
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yea, it isn\'t worth it and weekends are the worse!!!!! We think we\'re doing so good, then we get an e-mail from them and it sets us back again. It\'s just easier to do NC, you\'ll have a hard time with this since you have a daughter. Hang in there!!!!
I hear you spam..NC is tough, especially since we got daughters senior pictures coming up and all the senior crap to deal with..ugh.
I\'m beginning to wonder if the NC rule would of been wiser for me then maybe I would be on the road to mending instead of a standoff of should I go back to him or not. You are doing a good job, you should be very proud of yourself for the steps you have taken so far. You have made yourself a better man.May have to set a rule that you will have no contract with her unless it is about the kids, I know (oh how I know) that this will be hard but reading your post it seems that hearing from her just opens up old wounds.
Yup nando I agree kid stuff from today onward, and even that shouldn\'t be too difficult the more i think about it since my daughter is 17. Thanks for ur support :)
You should only discuss issues that pertain to your Daughter. Other than that you should go No Contact with your ex. What is there really to talk about? It is probably unhealthy for you to have contact with her at this time.
It is negative energy. Focus on YOU and your Daughter of course. :)
I will give you a suggestion that might be helpful to you.
Try to take the emotion out of it and think of it as business when you have to have interaction with your ex. Like for example when you have to see her when it involves your Daughter you can be cordial and say hello to your ex but I would not say anything more than that. What is the point? It will be phony. You are there for your Daughter. Not your ex. I wish you the best of luck and you are so blessed to have a Daughter. Stay close to her. Father/Daughter relationships are very special. :)
my feeling on contact what so ever really depends on situation of the ex in my mind my ex was so nastey and abusive the day i found out my dad had cancer my ex was so mean and nastey to me , when i needed surgery he disapered and found another ven tho my results came out great im cancer free .... but im saying in a situation like mine No contact i feel is best best option when i needed him the most in life he pushed me away and was very cruel , like u and youre ex atleast she was supoortive when it came to youre mom thank God for that some people in this world are just so heartless today like my ex for example Ill never understand! So for each personal situation cause everyones diffrent ya know ....do what really works best for u hugs :)
Hey Coop. I agree with DaisyGirl, well put. You are an amazing Dad , keep that close because that in unconditional love . You are super blessed to have that. But I know when my ex broke up with his ex wife 8 years ago. That is what she did with him. She would talk to him and see him but it was all busienss. It drove him crazy but she was all business to the point that she does not even let him in her house. I know it may be easier said then done to take the emotions out of a situation however so I am not saying it will be easy. But since you do have a daughter you are going to have to see her or talk to her. So I would keep it business like.
But Coop you are such a good guy I think some women is going to pick you up soon. And then that ex will really be upset. lolo Good men dont stay single long. Hang in there my friend.