Things I have learned..
Grief can make you lose your mind, literally, and this is quite normal..
Grief can make you sick, very sick, and this is also very normal..
Grief racks your whole body with pain, and makes you feel like you can't survive anymore, and this is normal...
Sadness and fear sit in your throat and stomach like a ball of sickness..
Grief is a roller coaster and there is no way off it, you need to ride it to the end, and sometimes be very brave..
There is no method, no process, no guidance through grief, no one can tell you when or how it will end.
Grief changes a person inside and out
Grief brings gifts with it, but you have to go through the darkness first..
Sometimes when you are in the depths of darkness you curse the universe for it's silence, but when you emerge back into the light you see that sometimes the Universe goes silent, so you are forced to really listen inside yourself...
Everyone will lose their loved ones, every single person on the planet, and everyone has to survive it..
The depths of grief, reveal the depths of love you shared with that person, and that love never dies..
Being 'kind' to yourself doesn't mean read a book or take a bath, it means love who you are, love the person your Mother loved so much. Often our inner critic is the harshest and most unkind voice in our lives, quieten it down, and really appreciate and love who you are - this helps enormously...
We all have the resources within ourselves to survive grief, but we need some peace and quiet to reflect inwards and draw on those resources, trust your intuition...
Grief is temporary, it will pass. I believe we may always feel heartbroken, and sad, and we will always miss them. But the bone racking grief that feels unbearable.....that is temporary, and that does pass..
The really uncomfortable scary emotions we feel like running away from, anxiety, depression, panic, terror, are all there for healing, they have a purpose, and if we run from them they will get bigger. Often these feelings just need to be allowed to be there, to be processed, and they will diminish. They may have important messages for us - my anxiety was always a precursor to grief...my bodies way of telling me it wasn't coping anymore with holding onto it...
Finally, after almost 2 years of being lost in the memories of Mum's illness and death....finally I have learnt and can now remember that I am very much like her, and that makes me happy and connected to Mum in a new way.
There are many things to be grateful for, even in grief.
I love you Mum. My mind cannot process the fact that it will be 2 years since you died....You are missed every single day. xxxxxxxx
Grief can make you sick, very sick, and this is also very normal..
Grief racks your whole body with pain, and makes you feel like you can't survive anymore, and this is normal...
Sadness and fear sit in your throat and stomach like a ball of sickness..
Grief is a roller coaster and there is no way off it, you need to ride it to the end, and sometimes be very brave..
There is no method, no process, no guidance through grief, no one can tell you when or how it will end.
Grief changes a person inside and out
Grief brings gifts with it, but you have to go through the darkness first..
Sometimes when you are in the depths of darkness you curse the universe for it's silence, but when you emerge back into the light you see that sometimes the Universe goes silent, so you are forced to really listen inside yourself...
Everyone will lose their loved ones, every single person on the planet, and everyone has to survive it..
The depths of grief, reveal the depths of love you shared with that person, and that love never dies..
Being 'kind' to yourself doesn't mean read a book or take a bath, it means love who you are, love the person your Mother loved so much. Often our inner critic is the harshest and most unkind voice in our lives, quieten it down, and really appreciate and love who you are - this helps enormously...
We all have the resources within ourselves to survive grief, but we need some peace and quiet to reflect inwards and draw on those resources, trust your intuition...
Grief is temporary, it will pass. I believe we may always feel heartbroken, and sad, and we will always miss them. But the bone racking grief that feels unbearable.....that is temporary, and that does pass..
The really uncomfortable scary emotions we feel like running away from, anxiety, depression, panic, terror, are all there for healing, they have a purpose, and if we run from them they will get bigger. Often these feelings just need to be allowed to be there, to be processed, and they will diminish. They may have important messages for us - my anxiety was always a precursor to grief...my bodies way of telling me it wasn't coping anymore with holding onto it...
Finally, after almost 2 years of being lost in the memories of Mum's illness and death....finally I have learnt and can now remember that I am very much like her, and that makes me happy and connected to Mum in a new way.
There are many things to be grateful for, even in grief.
I love you Mum. My mind cannot process the fact that it will be 2 years since you died....You are missed every single day. xxxxxxxx
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