Things I do
Today I realized something I do. I get up and head out to get things done. I need to get the garage cleared out to take the roof down where its rotted, I picked up clutter around the area, I tried cleaning house (vacuumed the worst areas, etc), paid bills blah blah its when I went down to brush and brush my horses I stayed and stayed because I was really enjoying being around them, cleaning their feet, talking to them and than I realized I needed to spend more time with my dogs as since I started working they get the hello and I began to get things done.
I just need more time to do things all by myself but that's not going to happen so I need to realize I still need to do things FUN around here....note to self ......write me a sticky note to that effect.
I just need more time to do things all by myself but that's not going to happen so I need to realize I still need to do things FUN around here....note to self ......write me a sticky note to that effect.
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Well I went to our old archery club banquet I had not gone for two years. It was good to see some of our old friends. I saw your photo I had framed for your send off of you getting your elk with your bow. You as a wildlife biologist was always working during hunting season so this meant so much to you. I than donated the photo to the club to hang in your memory as others are hanging. When I walked over to it I felt like crying but kept it together when I mention it to Doug & Danny they said I imagine it is hard. Especially Danny since he lost Yvonne a year ago. He has moved on with a new girlfriend Jan and they do well with each other so....I wish I had some one I could feel that way about but just can not see it happening for me. I looked around at all those who were still with souses. Dean and Barb upset me as they do not really acknowledge me that much they used to be such good friends. Doug was so thin having had surgery removing many organs due to a mass luckily not cancer. I wish I had someone to go riding with Jan and Danny said they would include me. I hope Ike is healed enough so I need to go exercise him to make sure he is so out of shape. No real riding sine you left everyone ignores me. Riding the trails alone does not seem safe. Danny told me he would fix the roof and for me not to worry about the money part - we will work it out luckily he is rich I am not. He seems sincere.
Major repairs as they say the garage roof has been leaking for many many years as the trusses were not put in right. SIGH Now we have a drought here and our shallow well make dry up.....I guess I will pack water as I can not afford drilling a well. The old one is there but the reason it was taken out was the stinky sulphur smell. These are the things I hate dealing with. And stressing over. Than Roger there is George he is losing it every day. His dementia mind is getting more and more volatile towards everyone and of course I live the closest where he goes right by. Several say he is getting dangerous but I am tired of being afraid. If God wants me to die by his hands so be it. I can not live avoiding him and worrying. I just want my life to smoother than this. I want more financial freedom which you refuse to provide so I am still poed at you for that. So I hope you hear when I cry for your help somehow you have to from above. Mom is 88 now if I live to that I will live 20 more years all alone...it does not seem happy to me. But what to do is a big question. Gotta go get ready for school tomorrow.