Things I am Thankful for......

Today is the American Thanksgiving and even though it is not Thanksgiving here in Canada I have so many things in my life I am thankful for. My marriage has ended but that is okay...life goes on and another door opens. I am not a failure in anyway because it didn’t work out...time passes...people change..the person you were twenty years ago is not necessarily the person you are today.  It’s not easy to walk away from hopes and dreams but it’s not easy to hold on to something that is no more either..living life day to day...just merely existing....that was not life! Life is a precious gift!! We have to make the most of our time here cause we just never know when it will be over. Sometimes you have to take chances, you have to do what will make you happy, you have to stop trying to please everybody else. I have come to realize that my life does matter too!!! How sad it would be if my life were to end tomorrow and I went through it day to day just settling instead of making my time here really count. I have two beautiful children who I absolutely adore. They have been there no matter what. We are very close.  Being a mom is by far the best thing in life. They both have grown into fine young adults in spite of the things they have indured. They are both very independent, go-getters and far more outspoken then their mom. I admire that about them. I wish I had those qualities growing up but I was always shy, had little confidence and was always trying to please everybody else. I always strived to be the perfect daughter, the perfect student, the perfect friend, the perfect mom, the perfect wife and somewhere along the way I lost me in it all. I am far from perfect but that is okay, too.  I have come to realize that I am who I am and if people don’t like me because of that then so be it...what can I do? I have a precious little grand daughter who has brought so much love and happiness into my life in the year and a half that she has been here. Her little smiles make my troubles seem so small..her hugs..her kisses..everything about her is beautiful. She spents most weekends with me and I look forward to that...I love being a grandma!! I still have my mom...I don’t get to see her near as much as I would like because of the distance but I am thankful to still have her with me...I am thankful for all the holidays we get to spend together and all the beautiful childhood memories and all the wonderful memories we continue to make. My Dad passed away in his sleep 9 years ago and I still miss him dearly but I know he is with me...I feel his love so strong especially when I am struggling. I talk to him a lot and I know he hears me. I know he is guiding me through life and even though he is not physically here, he is still here...I feel him!! A dad’s love doesn’t die just because he had to leave this earth...I will see him again..I believe that.  I have five sisters, no brothers but lots of brother-in-laws. My sisters and I may not always see eye to eye on things but I love them dearly. I have a large family with lots of nieces and nephews and now great-nieces and nephews, too. When we all get together on the holidays it is so overwhelming...so much love and to think it all started because my mom and dad got together and gave us all life.  I have my cat, Sassy, who was rescued from a puppy mill. She was on the verge of death when they rescued her. She was so scared when I brought her home. She used to seem so sad but in the time that I have had her she has come a long way. I love to hear her purr when she snuggles up to me.  I am so glad I was able to give her the life she deserved. The person who abused her didn’t get near what he deserved. How anybody could ever mistreat animals I will never understand. I have my friends here on DS who truly care about me and that I am so thankful for. In the time that I have been a member here I have met so many wonderful people who have touched my heart greatly. I have spent many nights without sleep worrying about some of them when they were facing troubles. I have grown to love them dearly. I have also cried when I thought I may have hurt one of them or said something that may have offended them. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt anybody. Everybody on my friend’s list hold a special place in my heart.  There are a few that I have grown really close too. It would be nice to meet these people face-to-face someday and to thank them for the difference they have made in my life! I want more then anything for each them to find that happiness that they all deserve. I could go on and on..I have my health, I have my job that I had for 20+ years, I have people who care about me. I could sit here and feel sorry for myself because things in my life have changed greatly or I can choose to focus on the positive, take on whatever is tossed my way and move forward. I am choosing to fight for the life I deserve. I can’t blame anybody for where I am in my life today. I am where I am because of the choices I made and I will be where I am in the future because of the choices I will make.  If I fall on my face I will pick myself up and keep moving forward.  I may lose my way every now and then but I refuse to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been.  I will never know until I take those steps to make it happen. But most of all I thank God for the life he has given me.....I have truly been blessed!!