Things are looking up.
Dear friends,
So I finally told him. It took me two weeks to get up the courage to actually do it, during which time I refrained from seeing him because a) I wasn't ready to tell him quite yet and b) I didn't want to have sex with him again until I had told him. So I carefully thought everything out and came to the conclusion that if I wanted to continue doing what I'm doing with this guy, I need to tell him. There is no other way. I literally CANNOT hold onto my secret anymore.
So I thought out exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to give him details, but not too many to run him off, but just enough so he understands what this all is. I wanted to ease into it. I didn't want to drag the conversation on either. It was difficult figuring it all out. I rehearsed with my friends a couple times, which helped TREMENDOUSLY.
So the night comes when I am ready to tell him. Make it or break it. I am prepared for any and every reaction he might have. I was planning on spending the night there, but I left all my things in the car in case his reaction turned south and I had to go home. I didn't want to bring all my things in, assuming that everything will be alright, only to find out that he gets explosive mad. So. I had kind of just turned off my mind and let any reaction be fair game. So I get there, and the first thing I do is take a few shots of tequila. Haha. I needed a little liquid courage!! So I pull him outside and tell him I need to tell him something. I bust out my little speech, all nice and tidy with the perfect amount of details, and he proceeds to tell me that his ex gf had hpv and so he's probably a carrier. He understands there is no test for men. He knows I am not currently showing symptoms, nor have I shown any in quite some time, but that it's still a possibility. He knows that being safe is definitely a precaution we need to take. And he also told me this isn't as bad as other things. I am actually glad that this is the reaction/story that came from this convo. He obviously did research, having been in a similar situation, so he knew everything I was spouting. He wishes to continue doing what we're doing, which makes me feel a whole lot better:)
In addition to this reaction, I was prepared for an all out blow up. So this took me back a bit. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or not. I kind of wasn't as prepared for this outcome as I had been if he was mad. Idk. It's weird. But I'm thankful he understands and wasn't mad. After all, it's not necessarily something to get mad about, it's more something to either deal with or not deal with.
Anyways. I'm proud of myself for coming to the decision to tell him. I'm proud of myself for mustering up the guts to make it happen. It was really hard and embarrassing, but I know for a fact that it's not something I want to hold onto in a relationship. I actually got a lot of good advice from this site which helped not only to make my decision easier, but tips on what to say and how to say it. You people rock:)
So I finally told him. It took me two weeks to get up the courage to actually do it, during which time I refrained from seeing him because a) I wasn't ready to tell him quite yet and b) I didn't want to have sex with him again until I had told him. So I carefully thought everything out and came to the conclusion that if I wanted to continue doing what I'm doing with this guy, I need to tell him. There is no other way. I literally CANNOT hold onto my secret anymore.
So I thought out exactly what I wanted to say. I wanted to give him details, but not too many to run him off, but just enough so he understands what this all is. I wanted to ease into it. I didn't want to drag the conversation on either. It was difficult figuring it all out. I rehearsed with my friends a couple times, which helped TREMENDOUSLY.
So the night comes when I am ready to tell him. Make it or break it. I am prepared for any and every reaction he might have. I was planning on spending the night there, but I left all my things in the car in case his reaction turned south and I had to go home. I didn't want to bring all my things in, assuming that everything will be alright, only to find out that he gets explosive mad. So. I had kind of just turned off my mind and let any reaction be fair game. So I get there, and the first thing I do is take a few shots of tequila. Haha. I needed a little liquid courage!! So I pull him outside and tell him I need to tell him something. I bust out my little speech, all nice and tidy with the perfect amount of details, and he proceeds to tell me that his ex gf had hpv and so he's probably a carrier. He understands there is no test for men. He knows I am not currently showing symptoms, nor have I shown any in quite some time, but that it's still a possibility. He knows that being safe is definitely a precaution we need to take. And he also told me this isn't as bad as other things. I am actually glad that this is the reaction/story that came from this convo. He obviously did research, having been in a similar situation, so he knew everything I was spouting. He wishes to continue doing what we're doing, which makes me feel a whole lot better:)
In addition to this reaction, I was prepared for an all out blow up. So this took me back a bit. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or not. I kind of wasn't as prepared for this outcome as I had been if he was mad. Idk. It's weird. But I'm thankful he understands and wasn't mad. After all, it's not necessarily something to get mad about, it's more something to either deal with or not deal with.
Anyways. I'm proud of myself for coming to the decision to tell him. I'm proud of myself for mustering up the guts to make it happen. It was really hard and embarrassing, but I know for a fact that it's not something I want to hold onto in a relationship. I actually got a lot of good advice from this site which helped not only to make my decision easier, but tips on what to say and how to say it. You people rock:)
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