Things are going ok so why
Do I feel like garbage?? We got a puppy but all I can think about is my Daisy and I'm not feeling a strong bond. I'm still stuck in the shop and management is STILL trying to fuck with us on hours even though they still can't find candidates. Feeling like a wage slave clutching for leftover cabbage and hotdog water while Beezer launches his gluttonous ass into space in his giant dick rocket. The goddamn yacht club and golf courses are fucking booming lit. I wish the socio-political collapse or apocalypse would just happen already so we can get on with our extinction. This world is a fuckin dump.
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That sounds like a valid set of reasons to feel like garbage. Validating my feelings is one of my own therapy tools. A nice fantasy of setting off giant dick rockets might even be a good channel for those feelings. I may even have to try that fantasy out for myself. Can I launch him in his golf cart? Watch that jello jiggle. . .
Sigh. . . Where's my perfect life?
Eh. I'm kind to the puppy.
She's cute but I just don't feel all gooey like the rest of the fam. I feel it's too early to fill Daisy's spot. I miss her. And I should clarify that COMPARATIVELY things are going better. I guess I feel guilty that I have more than most and I am still filled with negativity and yearn for a different world. I also fear prescedence, that the next disaster is right around the corner. I just don't think I'm capable of optimism.
Gentle empathy, Bingo. Once my inner doomsayer gains control, I start shopping for front row seats to The End of Days. After 20 months of maskite occupation, my inner doomsayer (ID?) has been spending allot of time at the control panel. Whatever I manage to pull together, the maskites or some other human disaster will be along shortly to pull the rug out from under me --AGAIN. On the days my ID is criticizing my life, I wonder if I should do my part to help the disaster bring a final end to human suffering.
Radical acceptance and channeling of my honest emotions helps me clear my head and rediscover my capacity for optimism.
Been playing with that channeling fantasy of setting of giant dick rockets. All the dicks and cunts at the golf course were masked. I wish they would invent a mask big enough to mask that jello jiggle. Maybe corsets' are old enough to be new?
bingo, I went to high school mostly in South America, but my mom got sick and needed surgery in, of all places, Atlantic City, NJ. So I did 2 years of high school at Atlantic City High School. Your post reminded me of a song I learned of there by an African American band called War, Since I'd come out of 6 years of a civil war in South America, their name got my attention, and so did their hit song, "The World Is A Ghetto." So many people at the time in North America couldn't relate to my recent war child experience, but these guys got it! I know it sounds like wallowing in strife and negativity, but instead it was like coming here to me, where people "get it."
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oKKMdmPBWRk
Let me know if this brings you down because I don't want that for sure, but I'm sharing because seeing my experience reflected gave me what we're after here as to daily strength instead.