Things are getting better, some
I have been talking to Michalia a lot. We are both still in the mode of "How did we end up here". She is taking the death of her husband much better than I did. I completely fell apart for awhile. I am doing much better now. I found a room mate and picked up extra days at my second job,I also did a lot of bill trimming so money is not such a huge issue anymore. I am still on a budget but am not down to the nitty gritty by the time payday comes around.
I have started dating. It is a guy I met online, it started out as friends but is now progressing to more. I was getting some flak from friends and family, they feel I should wait longer. The fact of the matter is I will always love Ray, he was my mostest, but he is NEVER coming back....period. I want to live again and I know he wouldn't want me sitting around pining for him. Spending more time with my daughter, dad and grand daughter also. I have realized that you may not have the time you think you do to spend with someone. I still cry, but not as much or as hard. It mostly happens when I am overtired and alone. I am now able to talk about Ray in the past tense and find I am using, we, us and ours a lot less. It is so hard letting go!
I used to have tons of pictures of him all over the house, but finally took most of the down. I put two in the hallway with all of the other family photo's. I need to start making this house mine more and less of ours.
About the only other issue I have is eating. I just don't eat and I am still losing weight. I need to be careful because I have control issues and when things get really stressful food becomes something I can control and I am VERY good at it. I had this issue in high school and ended up at 87lbs. I have now set me up a menu and try to make sure I eat at least one full meal a day. I also have notes around the house that say things like "did you eat today?" "when was the last time you ate?", "coffee doesn't not count as a meal!" and "go have a snack". Sounds crazy I know, but it helps remind me to keep eating.
I have started dating. It is a guy I met online, it started out as friends but is now progressing to more. I was getting some flak from friends and family, they feel I should wait longer. The fact of the matter is I will always love Ray, he was my mostest, but he is NEVER coming back....period. I want to live again and I know he wouldn't want me sitting around pining for him. Spending more time with my daughter, dad and grand daughter also. I have realized that you may not have the time you think you do to spend with someone. I still cry, but not as much or as hard. It mostly happens when I am overtired and alone. I am now able to talk about Ray in the past tense and find I am using, we, us and ours a lot less. It is so hard letting go!
I used to have tons of pictures of him all over the house, but finally took most of the down. I put two in the hallway with all of the other family photo's. I need to start making this house mine more and less of ours.
About the only other issue I have is eating. I just don't eat and I am still losing weight. I need to be careful because I have control issues and when things get really stressful food becomes something I can control and I am VERY good at it. I had this issue in high school and ended up at 87lbs. I have now set me up a menu and try to make sure I eat at least one full meal a day. I also have notes around the house that say things like "did you eat today?" "when was the last time you ate?", "coffee doesn't not count as a meal!" and "go have a snack". Sounds crazy I know, but it helps remind me to keep eating.
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HELLO ,GLAD YOU ARE DOING BETTER, I GUESS YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON, JUST GO WITH YOUR HEART, DO EAT, ITS IMPORTANT TO NOURISH YOUR BODY, WISH YOU WELL, BLESSINGS LUCY**