Things Are Getting Better.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009 - 1:30 5 PM Some things have gotten better this week than they were last. When I went to see Dale at the mental health clinic, we managed to get things straightened out regarding my medication. We made an agreement under which I said if I decide in the future to stop taking any medicine, that I will talk to him about it first. I think that is reasonable, and I do believe that I can live up to that. Last Wednesday, I talked with Dr. Martin and brought her up to date on the situation. That was before I saw Dale. I told Dr. Martin that the medicine had been prescribed by the psychiatrist I see, and that I did not like him. She wanted to know why I would continue seeing a psychiatrist who I did not like. I tried explaining to her that I thought it was part of the requirements set up by the mental health clinic. When I saw Dale on Friday, and while we were discussing the situation concerning my medicines, I told him what Dr. Martin had said regarding my seeing a psychiatrist who I did not. I explained to him my reasoning behind it. Dale told me that I had only been required to see a psychiatrist as long as I was in their substance abuse program, which I am no longer in. He said that as long as I can get my primary care physician to prescribe medicines for me, I no longer had to see the psychiatrist. Well, that took care of one problem. My primary care physician had once told me if I ever needed him to write prescriptions, rather than the mental health clinic, all I had to do was let them know. I am no longer going to see that psychiatrist, and Dale agreed to inform him of that. While I was at that clinic, I went to their pharmacy to find out why I had been given three different kinds of Depakote. The pharmacist checked their records, and then told me that they had made a mistake because I was supposed to have the brand name only. We exchanged medicines, and I went away from there with a happy smile on my face. It is a good thing that I always check my medicines before taking them. Dale asked me if I was ready to have another family counseling session with my brother, Lee. I told him that I no longer felt that it was worth it. Lee has not contacted me since he went on his Mediterranean cruise. I have gotten to the point where I no longer feel that it is worth the struggle trying to get much closer to him. I love him as a brother, but that is as far as it goes. I have not been feeling very good during the last couple of days. I feel as though a fist is in my stomach, and I also feel nauseated a good part of the day and night. These feelings come and go at random. I am beginning to feel that they are being caused by stress. I always tend to get upset during the Christmas holidays. My sister and her oldest granddaughter came to see me on Sunday. It was a pleasant, though unexpected, visit. My sister has not dropped in like that in a very long time. In some ways, I feel that we have been separated during the past year. I have been invited to spend Thanksgiving with my sister. That was not unexpected, because she always invites me to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with her. She has done that every year since I have lived in Denver.
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P.S. I almost forgot something. During the last few weeks, I have been trying to deal with some changes in caregivers. This has been upsetting and unsettling, but mostly unavoidable. It is hard for me to become used to new people, as well as to train them to do things the way I want them to be done. This is just one more in a long list of aggravations. And life goes on...
Yes, life does go on. I wish sometimes that it would slow down or come to a stop when I feel overwhelmed.
I\'m glad you don\'t have to see the psychiatrist anymore. Phew. I get triggered by them because I\'ve met some real doozies in my life so far. Not only do they usually seem way crazier than me, they also seem incompetent.
The caregiver changes would totally be unsettling. I\'d find that stressful. I think that it reinforces the saying that life gives us what we need, not what we want. You are forced to trust in people over and over, even though you\'ve seen some of the darkest sides of humanity.
I\'d love to know more about who is being trusted with your care.
Hi Jim, I glad to hear things are looking up a bit for you. I understand why the holidays are hard for you. the holidays are rough for alot of people. I was a bit depressed on Thanksgiving. Because I have lost a lot of people in my life. I was remembering other holidays when my parents and other family members were still around. Hang in there. hugs-Stephanie