Thing's have changed so much

I have not been on here in a very long time. So much has changed. After Tim and I divorced, I had met a man named David, he came off as a good man. He was 10 months younger than me, he was a widower, had a daughter and 2 grandkids (now 3) we met on February 12,2014 he came to the trailer I was renting on Valentine's day and really never left. We found a farmhouse and started buying it March 2014. It had been a dream to have a farmhouse for me. My 2 kids moved in with us, my son has autism and daughter was still in school. Everything was ok, we got married October 25, 2014, the day after his birthday. Nice wedding. Went to NC on honeymoon. But he had issues with my kids, he also had anger issues that showed up after 2015. No physical but mental abuse. My kids grew to hate him. In 2016 I left him 2 times. He turned into a monster, finally I had all I could take, my daughter had moved out to her fiance's house and my son walked on egg shells. So did I. I got divorced in 2017. It was final in July. Since then my son and I found a home to buy.And Believe it or not Tim is back in my life at least as a good friend. He has been helping me with my house. It needs a lot of work. I still consider myself a widow because after 6 and a half years I know for a fact that I will NEVER get over Pat. I still cry, I still dream of him and I love talking about him. He is always with me. I still get very depressed, I Know I have depression. Not only am I depressed over Pat but also I lost my best friend over something so dumb. I had wrote on Facebook on Pat's page that I was upset because that my bff never hardly call or text anymore. She is the type that gets upset over nothing, so now 40 years of friendship down the drain. She wasn't just my bff we were family. But, she was all to willing to throw our friendship away over something like that. Makes me wonder what kind of friend would do that? So now I feel alone except for my 2 kids and a couple other friends. I'm learning to lean on God and trust him even though some days I want to just give up