thick skin

After my boyfriend skinned me alive for having other plans with other people tonight, he texted saying he wanted to cancel tonight and make it tomorrow night.
 
My stepmothers birthday is tomorrow, and I can't go. Instead of texting him I called him. I am really over this texting nonsense. I feel that texting can be so harmful. Like- let's talk! Voice to voice so there are less misunderstandings and it is more personal, ya know?
 
Well I explained that Thursday I have birthday plans with my mammy, then he asked about Friday, but I have plans with my friend Doug. He was like- "Who's Doug?" Kinda of yucky sounding. I reminded him of my old long time pal from my teen age years that we both have already had dinner with...you know, Doug. He's cool. He's not a guy I am dating on the side or anything. Its harmless, just a platonic friend. He use to date my best friend in the world 20 years ago. he will never get in my pants! Just sayin!
 
then he was like- Saturday, Sunday??
 
Well, I think he is softening towards me. I think he can tell by the tone in my voice and my soft demeanor that I mean no ill will or harm. I have nothing up my sleeve.
 
Earlier he did call and apologize. I still kind of feel like I've been involved in a hit and run though.
 
Then this last phone call he seemed kind. And when he hung up he said, "I love you."
 
I said it back, but I kind of have a glimmer in my heart when I say those words, they feel a tab tainted by bad blood. You know, I feel like there is bad blood.
 
I wont let on I feel this way. I don't want him mad at me again. I don't want to get yelled at or mocked or made fun of or accused of anything bad. I just want love and peace. I will do anything to get that and keep it.