They Love you Then they Hate you....

when my blpd wm does not get it her way, or she feels abandoned or she feels lonely/ which is what she does bc she has isolated herself and has no more friends. she has even decided that beth is no longer a real good friend and is disappointed in her. she is also upset bc a sister told her that she was mean to her when they were little.... like 70 years ago.... .... 

when she does not hear or get what she wants then she yells and screams at me. i can tell her how i feel and she tells me that is crap. she told me that 3x... that my feelings were stupid.... just today and yesterday. 

i really no longer want her in my life. i know that sounds very sad. but i did not follow my own rules. i got frustrated with her / you can NOT show your true emotions to a blpd. You can NOT... bc it might challenge their behavior. 

i did that after a long long day. i patronized her by saying i was sorry. but then when i told her i wasn't going to stay any more night but that we would come by to check on her she went into a screaing yelling rage again.

but i did not answer her questions. i just sat there and would not fuel the fire while she was screaming. she finally just walked off. 

she is a very sick woman. very sick. and refuses to get help but i am going to finally seek counseling just for this problem in my life. 

i am needing to address it once and for all. i am ready to keep my boundaries up. and be ready for the worst... which is screaming, anger, denial, guilt and threats. all of those things are so lovely.

but i can't do it any more. and i want her more out of my life. i do not want to talk to her that much any more and i do not want to travel with her. nor do i really want to have holidays. but i just need one day at a time. i need to get this addressed once and for all..... starting today.

today.

I'm putting on my shoes , brushing my teeth  and putting on a hat right now and filling out paper work.