They are all disappering
March 10, 2013 my best friend died. She and I lived next door to each other while growing up, and met when we were about 5 years old. We were best friends for more than a decade.
December 18, 2012 my husband died. We had been separated for 22 years, and divorced for 20, but since we were Catholic, and never got an "anulment" from the church, at his death we were still married, according to the church.
These two deaths, of people that were at one time the most significant person in my life, disturb me in a way I don't know how to interpret. I am obsessing about what went wrong to pull them out of my life trying to figure out if it was my fault.
You add this to the other deaths in the family, starting with my Grandmother in 1975, then my Grandfather in 1997, my brother Paul (who killed himself at age 35) and my father (who probably died from a broken heart because of my brother's death), and my 3 uncles.
The only ones left from my childhood now are my mother and 2 brothers. 1/3 of my family is already gone, and if you consider that my best friend was considered to be my sister and a part of my family, even moreso.
Okay, not as articulate as you might want, but I'm 56 years old and I can see that soon I will be alone. My mother and both my remaining brothers are not doing so well, Of my two daughters, one would not want me around, even though she could afford to keep me, and the other will never be able to afford to keep me.
I'm really depressed.
December 18, 2012 my husband died. We had been separated for 22 years, and divorced for 20, but since we were Catholic, and never got an "anulment" from the church, at his death we were still married, according to the church.
These two deaths, of people that were at one time the most significant person in my life, disturb me in a way I don't know how to interpret. I am obsessing about what went wrong to pull them out of my life trying to figure out if it was my fault.
You add this to the other deaths in the family, starting with my Grandmother in 1975, then my Grandfather in 1997, my brother Paul (who killed himself at age 35) and my father (who probably died from a broken heart because of my brother's death), and my 3 uncles.
The only ones left from my childhood now are my mother and 2 brothers. 1/3 of my family is already gone, and if you consider that my best friend was considered to be my sister and a part of my family, even moreso.
Okay, not as articulate as you might want, but I'm 56 years old and I can see that soon I will be alone. My mother and both my remaining brothers are not doing so well, Of my two daughters, one would not want me around, even though she could afford to keep me, and the other will never be able to afford to keep me.
I'm really depressed.
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