There must be a reason....

There must be a reason and a purpose for all of this strife and pain and confusion in my life.  I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.  I have usually tried to tell myself that there is a reason for everything and that has kept me looking on the positive side of things most of the time.  Maybe what I have to accept now is that maybe there is a reason for everything but it may also be that I may never understand the reasons why some things happen.  Maybe I have to learn to accept that the lesson from this time in my life is that I will never have an explination or understanding for everything that happens in life and I have to be okay with that.  I read somewhere that where you are right now is exactly where you should be.  Maybe I can find some comfort in knowing that although I have no idea what the reason is, that my presence in this library in this town at this point in time is important in some way.  And it doesn't really matter if I'm wrong about that.  What matters at this point is that in my mind and heart is that I found a way to deal with my stress and pain that allows me to move through it and go on with life.  The only other option is to give up.