There is nothing left for me anymore
Everything I had ever dreamed about or wanted is not even a possibility anymore. All I ever wanted was to be a wife and a mother. No man wants me as I am,and at my age it's unlikely I will be able to get pregnant even if I could find someone willing. Plus I have all these health issues now and I am living in such a bad financial situation that there truly is nothing to live for anymore. No nope and no possibility of anything ever getting better. Only worse. Always worse. Only bad,horrifying and shocking things ever lay around corners for me. There has never been anything good. It's time to go,but I have to find a way and the will to overcome humanities greatest instinct. To survive. Just surviving is not enough. Not even being able to financially make it too the end of the month. The smallest of treats like a tim hortons coffee a day is out of my reach. I have no friends and no one gives a shit if I live or die.
I don't really have any family. Only my mom and she is 72 so realistically even if I outlive her,and with my health problems I dont think I will,but if I do my personal and financial situation will only get so much more worse. As it is right now disability has cut all dental procedures,even tooth pulls. I have two back teeth that might be saved but that would be like a thousand dollars or so. For me that may as well be ten million. My teeth hurt all the time and if worse comes to worse I don't even have the money to get them pulled.
So lets say I actually outlive my mom. I will be in an even more desperate situation. Disability gives you next to nothing so I will end up boarding in some horrible dump all alone with no one ever to talk to and unable to leave my room. I will be alone constantly. Never any human companionship or human contact. I have no one. That's not a life worth living. Oh and of course on top of all of that the never ending anxiety and panic attacks. No one would choose to live this life and there is no way out for me but death.
No one ever comes to check on me in my room so I could be in here for days. If anyone knows of a form of suicide that is quick and effective and relatively painless please let me know. I am looking online but I can't seem to find anything.
I don't really have any family. Only my mom and she is 72 so realistically even if I outlive her,and with my health problems I dont think I will,but if I do my personal and financial situation will only get so much more worse. As it is right now disability has cut all dental procedures,even tooth pulls. I have two back teeth that might be saved but that would be like a thousand dollars or so. For me that may as well be ten million. My teeth hurt all the time and if worse comes to worse I don't even have the money to get them pulled.
So lets say I actually outlive my mom. I will be in an even more desperate situation. Disability gives you next to nothing so I will end up boarding in some horrible dump all alone with no one ever to talk to and unable to leave my room. I will be alone constantly. Never any human companionship or human contact. I have no one. That's not a life worth living. Oh and of course on top of all of that the never ending anxiety and panic attacks. No one would choose to live this life and there is no way out for me but death.
No one ever comes to check on me in my room so I could be in here for days. If anyone knows of a form of suicide that is quick and effective and relatively painless please let me know. I am looking online but I can't seem to find anything.
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