There is hope!

I haven't written for a while - I have actually been trying to keep myself busy.   I went to a wedding this weekend, almost against my will, my husband thought it was very important that we attend this wedding - it was a hour and half drive - which I do not do well in the car.  So, I wake up Saturday and get ready for the wedding and I decide to take xanax to see if that will help with the drive there, and guess what - I did great, I had a great time I even danced with my husband (it's been a long time since I danced)!  We stayed in a hotel so we didn't have to drive home and let me tell you it was one the greatest weekends I've had in a long, long time!  I learned alot about myself this weekend, I need to have an open mind and not worry so much of panic leading my life.  I feel bad because I gave my husband so much crap about going out of town to this wedding and I had so much fun, my husband was just happy that we went!  I realize that I need to push myself alot more because I have not been living a full life like I should!  I think I am to the point where panic scares me but I really have not had a full blown panic attack in a long time.  I used to have panic attacks so bad that they left me with such fear that I protected myself by staying home, but that is not helping me because I feel like a prisoner of my home.  I am going to try to go to a support group (Panic Assistance League) tomorrow, my therapist has highly recommended it and I think I am ready to face other people with similar problems as mine, wish me luck!!!!