There Are Many with Strength to Share
My 22 year old daughter left home only a week ago. She refuses to speak to me. It has been an agonizing week but I made it through. She's living @ a friend's house. The friend had a level head & understands that my daughter is running away from her troubles, not just me. Her friend's mother & I had a nice chat last night. She is aware of my daughter's struggles with depression, her reluctance to share feelings, & that she is throwing b away her many gifts. She also has had troubles with another daughter & her son--including incarceration, a grandchild that lives with her, & a child with depression. She completely understood my feelings. I found it remarkable that she has found strength to bear all that she has. I felt fortunate that at least my daughter is with compassionate people. I send my daughter texts telling her I love her. I know that she will eventually come around. I don't expect it to be easy on either of us. There's a long road ahead of us & a lot of trust to be won back. Thank you all for your support & hugs! May you find peace in this Sunday!
Replies
It seems that for some, leaving home means they have to create a crisis in order to help propel themselves out the door because the stress of leaving is too hard on them. They just don\'t know how to go otherwise. I had one child that did this and the other went off to university nervously. The one who created drama (lots and lots of this) never chose people to stay with who were safe. She delighted telling me how her friend\'s parents wanted her to have group sex, or I\'d see the same dirty diaper on the stair for weeks in a row, or the front yard was full of garbage, etc. (these were different places she stayed). Those were very hard times to be her mother.
It sounds like your daughter chose good people and that must be a HUGE relief for you. She\'s safe and you don\'t have to worry about that. To pick good people herself seems to show she is capable of making a good decision. She\'s also 22 so it is definitely time for her to leave you and find her own way. Hopefully you will both calm in a bit of time and be able to find a new way. No doubt about it, you are going through a difficult transition time. I send you HUGS.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I am sorry to hear about your struggles. Yes, I believe that I raised my daughter well. She has never been one to share emotions with me or anyone. Even her friends. I want her to find happiness in her life; she has much to make that happen. I agree that there are people who create conflicts to avoid communication. That is most insightful of you, my friend! Hugs!