Therapy Goal II
Yesterday's radical acceptance seems to be holding steady this morning. No compulsive over-analyzing or dramatizing. Let a fact be a fact dressed in over-tones of loving compassion.
A shift in the facts is that Hubs has an actual start date of September 17th for working remotely. He has talked about working remotely for years, but this is the first time he has established a start date. Dunno if this shift changes my strictly personal facts of life any. If it does, the new facts, starting with he and the unknown-to-me employers carrying through on the development, have yet to be established.
Leaving that mystery to unfold in its own time and means, the isolation here on the job site feels less threatening this morning. So far, at least. ^It^ ain't over till ^it^ is over. Unlike the easily statistified sporting arena where I heard that tidbit, the final result isnae so easily identified in a psychotic episode. Que pena. . .
Stepping small, praying big and holding the love sacred. . .
Replies
Heart is with you Arfie. I’m glad the “acceptance” is holding.
Having a spouse working remotely is tough. My dad was a journeyman so I though I’d be prepared for the absences when I married a soldier. Not quite prepared enough, though and now that my husband is traveling every week for his civilian job, it’s been more of an adjustment than I expected. Maybe that’s why I’ve been on the fritz in healing? I don’t know if it’s a factor in coping with PTSD but it definitely affects something in my diagonal brain.
Sending lots of support & love to you! You’re processing so much all at once, and I empathize. It’s never just one thing but a whole blizzard all at one. Big hugs!
Yea, my spider senses feel some potential psychopations coming down the gossamer threads on that score, but. . .
First things first. Think I'll try to stay focused on settling this round of psychopations before I worry about that future. If the ifs come into alignment according to the newest add-on, that is more than 2 weeks away. There are allot of ifs to bring into alignment, so I am not holding my breath waiting for the kick-off. For now, the radical acceptance is that ^it^ is still future tense. I'll worry about ^it^ when ^it^ gets here.
Nope. It's never just one thing. Even the simplest of lives are still a complex weave. I figure the best I can hope for is to keep the snot knots to a minimum within that complex weave.
Best of luck to you, Arfie. We never seem to catch a break & the fight will always need to be fought but for what it’s worth, I think you’re doing one Hell of an awesome job giving as good as you get and scoring many inspiring knockouts along the way. If only the “psychological” opponents would stay out cold & quit getting back up.
But we always get back into the ring and we’re just as stubborn & hardheaded to not stay down when knock off our feet. Although I think I’ve suffered a few concussions recently. Still fighting tho.
Hugs & continued support! I’m placing my bets on you, the reigning champion. Hugs!
Given the extents of my rage issues, fight and assertiveness training, fight metaphors are downright dangerous for me.
Still, I thank you for the spirit of the compliment. Support appreciated and sorely needed.
I’m trying to think of a better term for what we face & go on though with all the trauma, symptoms, etc. something other that “struggle”. Lately I don’t like what that implies, as if it automatically implies eventual defeat and makes me a victim all over again. It’s my word hang up for today but “fight” implies that you have an equal chance of winning. As we never really “conquer” our mental issues, I’m not sure if “conquer” works as numerous rebellions would be part of the metaphor, and I honestly don’t want to be an “invading tyrant”, lol.
I’m glad you were able to appreciate the spirit of the metaphor at least. I think I’m going to go in search of a thesaurus to see if I can come up with something more appropriate. Just don’t hold your breath as I’m not even sure if that box is in the house.
Still here with you, Arfie, in every possible way I can be. Thanks for understanding. Hope things start looking more positive and peaceful. We could use some good weather for a pleasant change. Big hugs!
Big hugs Arfie <3
One soul's healing strength is another soul's psychotic trigger. I am ever more convinced that appreciating the spirit of a metaphor is far more important than the words. Alas, that remains more goal than achievement. It is as easy as falling off a log to see that the fight metaphors really are helpful to meeker souls, butttttaaaa. . . Inside my own strictly personal anger and aggression psychoses, fight metaphors could end up on an innocent by-stander's face. I don't think, "Lost in metaphor again" would make much of a legal defense.
I'm not sure we ever will find universal, sustainable vocabulary for the mental health weirds. I vote we use whatever works best for us on any given day and shoot for respect toward what works for others. Even when an experimental phrasing bombs, feeling safe and free to experiment is essential for my own recovery. Psychology has yet to come up with neat pigeon holes for the damage child sex trafficking can do to a psyche. Experimentation needed.
Now if I can just remember where I put that damned respect target I keep shooting for.
For everyone everything is perception, changeable & infinite. Words always mean more than definitions and metaphors expand that further. I understand what your saying. My trigger words are often “victim” and “survivor” for long complicated reasons, and rarely are the metaphorical. The basic offense by those is the assumption that I am still a victim of my abuse, that my abuse is branded upon me & dictates my life. But that’s my mental hang up. Just sharing as it helps me empathize and see your view & processing it.
I agree that universal metaphors are likely impossible to find, though. And a lot of us with PTSD have such diverse and varied experiences of trauma we are seriously metaphor deficient. Still haven’t found that thesaurus yet but maybe it’s time for a quest and some creative writing.
Continued support Arfie & lots of hugs.
I've been following the development of Neuroplasticity theories with considerable interest. They argue with the more traditional notion that brain is an inflexible organ (left brain/right brain, etc) and a brain injury is a big ol' Sorry Charlie. You are screwed. Neuroplasticity holds that the brain is plastic enough to allow new neural pathways to be formed around the injured portion of the brain. Language is one of the tools they use to accomplish this feat.
When I ponder the theories in neuroplasticity is alongside the theories that PTSD is actually a Traumatic Brain Injury, I find myself wondering if the diverse array of trigger and/or calming words are more than political and/or grammar details up for debate. When we individually look for new words for ^it^, are we instinctively looking for ways to forge new neural pathways?
Dunno. . . Leaving that mystery be, I simply shoot to respect that ALL of us are right when we call our ^its^ whatever feels right inside our own individual healing mysteries.
Triple hugs arfie~