Therapy

Lately, I’ve been feeling depressed to the point of uncomfortably frequent suicidal and self-harm thoughts–but I don’t know why, or even if my feelings are genuine. I’m afraid that my dad will say no, because when I told him I wanted to see a therapist (because of anxiety from my friend), he set me up with my cousin (who is studying psychology) who was staying at our house at the time. I felt like what she told me to do would make me feel worse rather than better.

I’d try to get someone else to talk to him, but my friends could do nothing, and–along with my friends and anyone else I could think of so far–my dad has gotten mad at me for and told me not to talk to school counselors or even family members. I was suspended two or three times on the spot because of some things I’ve said to middle school counselors, and a family member misunderstood a situation I contacted them about before calling 911, so I do understand...but I’m getting scared. I don’t know how to tell my dad I want to see someone.