Therapist
I go to counseling on Thursdays. Two weeks ago when I met with him he gave me an assignment to set a boundary. I took a lot of courage, but I did it.
My mother harps on my weight. Anytime I am with her she comes up with some kind of slap in the face with it. I talked to my dad about it and he said he would support me if I told my mother, so when I was leaving I told her that I liked visiting, but if it was going to be about weight I wouldn't come over anymore.
The following Sunday I took two grand kids over with pictures that they painted and then I was tested by her. She went off on the weight and so I rounded up the kids and went home.
Another time I was shopping for groceries and called her to get some suggestions for food. She was pleasant, even offered to meet me at the store. Everything was going good for awhile, but she started up again and I was in a situation where I couldn't walk away, so I reminded her that I didn't want to hear it. I think I hurt her feelings, but if I don't follow through she will walk all over me.
Felt good to set a boundary with her and my therapist was pleased that I am finally standing up for something I believe I don't need in my life. The two words I grew up with were "not allowed" I hope to set others but they are mostly about her and the hurt she caused me for 52 years... just finding out now that I "am allowed" I just have to believe in myself... everyone have a great night..... 8^)
My mother harps on my weight. Anytime I am with her she comes up with some kind of slap in the face with it. I talked to my dad about it and he said he would support me if I told my mother, so when I was leaving I told her that I liked visiting, but if it was going to be about weight I wouldn't come over anymore.
The following Sunday I took two grand kids over with pictures that they painted and then I was tested by her. She went off on the weight and so I rounded up the kids and went home.
Another time I was shopping for groceries and called her to get some suggestions for food. She was pleasant, even offered to meet me at the store. Everything was going good for awhile, but she started up again and I was in a situation where I couldn't walk away, so I reminded her that I didn't want to hear it. I think I hurt her feelings, but if I don't follow through she will walk all over me.
Felt good to set a boundary with her and my therapist was pleased that I am finally standing up for something I believe I don't need in my life. The two words I grew up with were "not allowed" I hope to set others but they are mostly about her and the hurt she caused me for 52 years... just finding out now that I "am allowed" I just have to believe in myself... everyone have a great night..... 8^)
Replies
Good for you! Your mom should be a positive influence in your life and not negative one. The people who need to criticize are the ones with the problem and we need to realize it. Why do they think they are so perfect? God loves us just the way we are so shouldn\'t they? Hugs!
Thanks for your support... 8^)
Good for you! I tried this many times with my mother and family and got nowhere! I hope it works for you. Hugs.