The Year Anniversary is Approaching
The anniversary of my husband's passing is Saturday, May 22. It will be a day of remembrance, tears, sadness, happiness, all those emotions rolled into one. I hope it is a warm, sunny, breezy day for I have planned a graveside memorial at 1 p.m. The announcements have been sent out (50 total) to family and dear friends. My minister will officiate with a program and there will be an opportunity for those to speak that could not at the funeral last year.
He is still my husband and still has my heart. I am in love with this man, a unique creature of God. The mold was broken when God created this man. A man of honor, dignity, respect, unconditional love. devotion, caring, funny, privately playful and romantic. We were a union for 38 years of our life and never expected at the time that cancer would part us. I know he cries in heaven for me, as I cry on earth for him. My DH is patiently waiting for the day when he can come running with open arms to claim me once again, as I will patiently wait for that day also.
I have come a long way in 11 months. From having the ground ripped from under me, a 5-day stay in the hospital for mental exhaustion and total breakdown, to someone who is loving her life, home, work, family and friends her way. My man is walking by my side every day, along with God. They will make sure that I am safe, secure, peaceful and busy.
I took an article from Dear Abby in the newspaper, written by a woman regarding her single life. She was married at one time, in another relationship that didn't work out, and has been unattached for the last five years. I can relate to some of the context and would like to share it with you.
"I'm free to come and go as I please without the burden of anyone else's expectations. And, if I'm feeling social, I can get together with a male or female friend and go out and have a good time.
Please reassure your single readers that it's OK to be single, and not to allow their well-meaning friends, family or society to try to convince them they "need" to be in a relationship.
If they're happily single, as am I, they can remain that way and life will be just fine if they let it be. For me, it's the only way to be."
If I am sad, it is because I miss my husband. If I am feeling lonely, it is because my husband has gone to a better place and is not physically here to share life's events with me. If I am feeling anxious or scared, it is because I don't want to be lectured or coerced into someone else's idea of what I should be doing, or I am fearful of falling back into the black abyss and having to crawl my way up again.
I guess what I am getting at here is that I can sit back and close my eyes, absorbing the warmth and joy of knowing my DH is still here spiritually. I can enjoy the day even though I love and miss him. I am regaining my inner strength and confidence, knowing that my life is OK the way it is. We didn't choose it, but we can make the best of it. Our way, not someone else's way.
What would be and still is as far as I am concerned, is our 32nd anniversary in July. I have ordered an anniversary band to wear on my left hand, and with pride. I am still his wife as he is still my husband. I am proud to have his last name, and even prouder for it to be known that I am his wife and widow.
Debbie
He is still my husband and still has my heart. I am in love with this man, a unique creature of God. The mold was broken when God created this man. A man of honor, dignity, respect, unconditional love. devotion, caring, funny, privately playful and romantic. We were a union for 38 years of our life and never expected at the time that cancer would part us. I know he cries in heaven for me, as I cry on earth for him. My DH is patiently waiting for the day when he can come running with open arms to claim me once again, as I will patiently wait for that day also.
I have come a long way in 11 months. From having the ground ripped from under me, a 5-day stay in the hospital for mental exhaustion and total breakdown, to someone who is loving her life, home, work, family and friends her way. My man is walking by my side every day, along with God. They will make sure that I am safe, secure, peaceful and busy.
I took an article from Dear Abby in the newspaper, written by a woman regarding her single life. She was married at one time, in another relationship that didn't work out, and has been unattached for the last five years. I can relate to some of the context and would like to share it with you.
"I'm free to come and go as I please without the burden of anyone else's expectations. And, if I'm feeling social, I can get together with a male or female friend and go out and have a good time.
Please reassure your single readers that it's OK to be single, and not to allow their well-meaning friends, family or society to try to convince them they "need" to be in a relationship.
If they're happily single, as am I, they can remain that way and life will be just fine if they let it be. For me, it's the only way to be."
If I am sad, it is because I miss my husband. If I am feeling lonely, it is because my husband has gone to a better place and is not physically here to share life's events with me. If I am feeling anxious or scared, it is because I don't want to be lectured or coerced into someone else's idea of what I should be doing, or I am fearful of falling back into the black abyss and having to crawl my way up again.
I guess what I am getting at here is that I can sit back and close my eyes, absorbing the warmth and joy of knowing my DH is still here spiritually. I can enjoy the day even though I love and miss him. I am regaining my inner strength and confidence, knowing that my life is OK the way it is. We didn't choose it, but we can make the best of it. Our way, not someone else's way.
What would be and still is as far as I am concerned, is our 32nd anniversary in July. I have ordered an anniversary band to wear on my left hand, and with pride. I am still his wife as he is still my husband. I am proud to have his last name, and even prouder for it to be known that I am his wife and widow.
Debbie
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