The way my brain works...

Am feeling weird.  Had an odd dream earlier.  Was back at the place where I used to work (which is no longer there) and all the usual people were there.  Lots of bits to the dream, but the main part stuck in my head is that I was collecting up Gareth's things for him - shirt (couldn't fold it!), bow tie, suit jacket, that kind of thing.  I put them all on a hanger.  And although he wasn't physically in the dream I remember talking to him and hearing him say 'Seems I'm better off out of there anyway'.  The place had closed before he died so it's not like he left it.  It was like he was asking me to gather up his things and tidy away.  And I managed to get what I was looking for.  I just don't really understand what it was all about. Can't believe it's been 9 months already.  Still can't believe any of it happened.  Like he's still out there and could come back at any time.  Don't think it'll ever sink in...think I need help...I miss him...